My Mom has had dementia for about a year. There was a pre-existing will in place setup by my father. Upon his death everything went to my mom. Upon her death everything was to be divided equally between the 3 siblings. It is our belief that he prompted her to change the will leaving everything to him, which she did. What if anything can we do?
My mother is angry that she has not visited her since my father passed (except on a trip to pick up the heirloom silver tea set), yet is duped by telephone calls from my sister. She had to hang up on my sister this morning because my sister was screaming about not getting her way.
I have done all the care for 10 years, including the dementia care for the last 2. I am sick of the threats to be removed as Trustee. I am a responsible CPA and have done nothing wrong. I love my mother and have been forced to choose between spending holidays with my daughters and grandchildren and my mother because my sister refuses to help out.
This is my reward? I really get burned up to hear the winers who do nothing and wonder why they aren't getting all the money they think is due. Narcissism Maybe?
Siblings were going to drop mom off outside our building Friday night. JUST DROP HER OFF. Siblings or anyone doing this to a parent should be in jail. Same as anyone sitting there allowing it to happen. THIS NEEDS TO BE IN THE PUBLICS EYES. PEOPLE NEED TO KNOW. There are so many families that are going threw this with an elderly parent, by having siblings that don't care about the parent, but just for what they are getting out of them. Siblings will go out of their way to make the ones that really truly care all these years look like the ones that were mean. ITS ALL GREED WITH THESE S.O.B.'s
On the other hand, depending how much money we're talking about and how much care he gives to her, could it be fair that he gets it all? It's hard to know - depends on the situation.
By the way, it depends how severe the dementia is whether she's competent or not. A person can have dementia that is mild and still be able to make all their care decisions. As they progress into more severe dementia, even then, some faculties might go faster than others. One person might retain the ability to understand their finances longer than they retain other abilities, for example. It depends on the person.
Another thing that crossed my mind is that your mother may have changed the will to reward the child that was helping her. How involved are all the siblings with her care? My mother on several occasions has wanted to change her will so that I would inherit everything. My brothers have been absent in my parents' care, so it makes her angry. I tell her to let the will stand as it is, because I don't want her last words to my brothers to be ones of anger. However, I do have to say that it is a completely legitimate reason to change a will.