We put mom in nursing home recently, her retirement and pension is paying for her stay as well as medical assistance. My brother asked why the money has not been transfered yet we told him it takes a while, DO NOT TOUCH it. i received a bill for 9552.00 for her care,he has taken over 5100.00 from her acct. I froze the acct, cancelled the debit card now we have to tell mom.
If sonny is a weasel (every family has one, mine was a charming but worthless cousin who got my mom & others to invest in a # of failed businesses), he will try to get around whatever you do. If mom has later stages of dementia & he's her favorite, she's going to want to do what he asks even after you clearly explain why her $ needs to go to pay for her stay at he NH. If this could be the future scenario, you will need to look into guardianship. Be sure to keep all records that show Sonny's $ from mom as he could try to get himself awarded guardianship & you have documentation as to why he is unsuitable.
Hopefully your mom has plenty of savings, assets and high enough monthly income so that she never ever needs to apply for medicaid. But should she go through her $$ after a couple or a few of years of $ 9552 a mo. of NH room & board fees and needs Medicaid, all that $ given to Sonny from the date of the filing of her medicaid application going back 5 years will be a transfer penalty placed against her by Medicaid. Which means someone within the family will have to private pay for mom's care as she will be ineligible for Medicaid.