My mom is 71 and has dementia and Parkinson’s disease. She has some KILLER mood swings. I myself have anxiety, depression, fibromyalgia and migraines to deal with daily on top of all my moms stuff. Whenever I call her, I never know what mood she is gonna be in. When I go to her house she has the tv so loud it gives me a headache and if I say anything she’ll bite my head off. She’s always telling me that I’m the problem and not her and I’m just about at my breaking point. I have talked to my brother about it and he just says “what can I do about it?” It’s so frustrating and I just don’t know what else to do.
I don't know if any of this is you, nor is it, really, my business.
But it is something to,think about. Many of us have done it for years when we came to the realization we can't do it anymore. We can't. It would cost us our marriage. Our job ( and many of us are already in middle to later age and need for our own retirement and aging, to continue to work.) Cost us our family. Cost us our health-- mental and physical.
This is a difficult journey and not easily navigated.
Good luck. You will get good, often harsh -- but learned the hard way-- advice here.
Your brother seems to have the right attitude, sad to say. Sounds like she treated him the same way and he’s washed his hands of her. You should, too. I have everything you mentioned except for the migraines. When caring for my mother got to be too much, she went to a facility. I visited twice a week. When she was “in a mood”, I left.
If you continue to subject yourself to this, she will continue to abuse you. Talk to your brother and tell him something needs to be done because you are at the point he is with her. Discuss your options. Make a decision that does not involve subjecting yourself to her vitriol.