My mother has been showing signs of dementia for a while now. She now is starting to talk to people who are not there. And she has made comments about our 3rd floor walls being wet or covered in ice, which were not true. I grew up in this house the walls never feel wet, let alone have ice on them! There are other signs as well.
So, I called my mother's Dr and talked to the receptionist and told her who I was and who I was calling about. I went on telling her that I understand the HIPPA laws, & Dr & Pt confidentiality laws. I stated "I am not calling about any of my mother's health conditions, nor her treatments."
I explain my concerns to the receptionist and asked, could she put a note in my mother's file to check for dementia "memory test" and for a "CBC" infections.
The receptionist told me "no", there was nothing she could do, just that I could go to my mother's appt with her. I explained to this lady that my mother won't let me, and she said, "sorry can't help you".
Than I asked the receptionist not to tell my mother that I called because it will start a fight between my mother & me, and she could get very aggressive and could possibly do something to me. The receptionist said, "sorry I have to tell her, because you have inquired about her medical condition." I told her " I didn't and I was very clear about that. The receptionist said, "well, I will tell her you called". I said, "ok, but you are starting a problem." She said, "oh well, you shouldn't have called" and went on to tell me to have a good day. Ugh
What am I to do to get my mother the help she needs if no one listens to me? And why would the receptionist have to tell her?
I feel like I am watching a train wreck & nobody sees it or will listen to me.
Maybe I am just asking for too much! I'll just wait for my mother to go into a frizzy or fall before I can help her. I know my mother will get violent with me at some point!
Why would the receptionist need to tell my mother? Again, I never asked any questions about my mother's healthcare!
Just needed to vent! Ugh
Can I just thank you for your thoughts and support.
I told my mother that I called her dr because my BF & I were worry about her overall health and that we love her. She said, ok.
But she is passive aggressive and I am sure she will get back at me. She has been that way since I was a teenager. Time to lock my suff up. Sigh
God bless you all.
If I were you, I should write a bare-bones summary of what you tried in vain to get across to Mrs Hitler there and send it, marked Confidential, to your mother's GP. You can do it by post, or electronically. Head it "Report, for information only." There is nothing in any law, code of conduct or indeed on God's green earth to prevent a doctor from receiving and noting information about a patient.
Now, to Mrs H's insistence that she is obliged to inform your mother that you called. I really doubt that, and I suspect her supervisor will put her right. Nevertheless, since in practice these *blasted* types are a bit of a law unto themselves, let us prepare for the worst.
So your mother toddles along for her next appointment, where Mrs H, no doubt bristling with her own self-importance, is delighted to inform her that you rang to speak to her doctor. She had *better not* phrase it as "rang your doctor about you" because that would be a gross misrepresentation of what you did, but this is a worst case scenario, so say she does. She's not the sharpest knife in the box, we know that, and she's not one for constructive discretion either. Ugh.
So your mother comes back with steam coming out of her ears and demands to know what you thought you were doing.
There is... plausible deniability. They say I rang? No idea what that's about. When was this supposed to be?
Or, there is... brushing it aside. Hm? Oh, that - yes, sure, I was just checking the date. (even better if she expects you to ferry her there and back, or there's some other reason you might need to know when her appointment is)
Or, and this wouldn't be before time, there is open defiance linked to sound rationale. Yes I did. There are things that your doctor needs to know. You're not telling him. Somebody needs to. So. What about it? Wanna bite me?
What sort of violence have you in mind?
The other reason to try again to flag your concerns with the doctor is this. Once the information has been passed to them, if they ignore it and something preventable happens, you have it on record that they *were* told.
That doesn't mean they can stop your mother falling or deteriorating because your mother is still free to refuse investigations and refuse treatment. But it does mean that her doctor will be in a better position to manage his patient to the best of his ability. You can but try.