I've got a situation where my mother refuses all outside or paid help and wants only family to do things for her. There are a number of things family can't do her because of the people involved and distances, and a self-neglect situation is slowly building. I'm wondering when the apparently inevitable day comes when I call APS what will happen? How much legal control can they take over my mother's life and her home? I want her to get help or be forced to accept help (she sure won't listen to me!) but I fear her being railroaded or losing more independence than necessary. Will I be starting a process that could end badly? Please share your experiences with APS good and bad, thank you!
The only way you can get legal control of her is to petition the courts for guardianship (Conservatorship) and my mother's lawyer has already warned me that they don't get involved unless the elder is facing "imminent" eviction or medical crisis. As has already been mentioned, it can take years even if you qualify. The courts and the doctors are focused on protecting the "rights" of the elderly and unfortunately for the caregivers, their "rights" can destroy our health, sanity, finances and even our physical safety.
You are powerless until they are powerless. What a world.
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