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I pray more for strengh and patience morethan anything. I am a full time caregiver to my parents mostly my dad who broke his hip almost 4 years ago. 24/7 I am totaly burn out because my dad will not excerise to get stronger on his own I have to make him kick his legs before he gets up to really be able to stand and walk and sometimes that starts a fight. He is getting weaker and that is stressful. My mom is doing pretty good but also is getting weaker and a little more forgetful and the stress I live close and spend all my time just going back and forth. I spend the nights with them matter of fact I only get to go home a few hours a day off and on and I take a nap in the chair. My husband is being as supportive as he can be really more than usual as he has never been real supportive of me. I have one daughter who now has 3 kids but she is really no help my brother lives a few states away and comes in to give me a break every 6 months or so but he can't stand to do this 2 weeks. I have to be his backup. I have resendment but also at the same time I am glad I could do it. My parents would not make it in a nurseing home they would not last.Just seems like I am the servent to so many. I know we allow this to happen to ourselves but I really don't know when it is over if I will ever connect people again. I try to eat right and take care of myself as much as I can but I miss cleaning up most of all. this has been a strain on my mind body money and self . Even I am serving so many I still don't fell bad about myself I just feel that somewhere I made a wrong turn. I really don't know if I will ever smile again. When I look at the big picture the only way this will end is either my parents die or I put them both in the nurseing home. I am sort of jelious of people who have a supportive family. My cousins and I aren't close, I have thought that maybe it is me but I am a good person who many just decied to not seem to want. I don't have pity parties I am just writing what I see. I do have a garden in the summer and a few chickens at my house as I am trying to get more back to the earth. I live in the woods and watch the sky and the animals every day. I always did this but now I am really getting in tune with it as I can't go anywhere. I enjoy the internet and meeting many different so I know this chaper in my life is a very hard one I am learning everyday and if I make it out alive I will be a totally different person weither it be for better or worse. I will be lost after this is over for I do love my parents very much but they really don't relize what I am giving up to do this. Wishing everyone a very Good day and a Blessed Merry Christmas Season
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Somedays I think I am going to go crazy I am so stressed with this 24/7 job of my parents. my dad has been selfcentered and very demanding. My mother hounds me to do every little thing he wants. He broke his hip almost 4 years ago and I am totally a servent to him.I guess I just need to vent.I try looking at the clouds and raising a garden and everything else but this is getting to me to have the whole load on my shoulders. ask me what I want for Christmas I want nothing. I want and need help but no one is going to do that. I would be OK just going home for a few hours and sitting by myself. I loss my patience this is the part I hate the most but I can't even leave town because of my dad's needs this is someone who would not do it for anyone else.
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Quakerite, you are spot on. Things don't have to be perfect, just manageable. I care for my 86-year-old father-in-law alone (my husband doesn't participate I think because it is too emotional). The one thing that I am thankful for each and every day is that my F-I-L may have dementia, but he is kind and loving and responds well to a hug and my telling him that I love him. Knowing that he is with family instead of strangers is all the reward.
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Yes, I know what you mean about feeling guilty for not being strong enough. Very well put! I have also had that light-headed feeling you talked about....I call it "weightless".....I think it has to do with anxiety. We need to find ways to nurture ourselves....that is what my counselor told me. Make a list of all the things that nurture you and then do what you can to make a couple of them happen. You painted a great image there.....laundry, ketchup bottle, lightbulb! (-: Hang in there!
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