As you all know, I am primary caregiver to my 93 year old mother. This passed weekend I got a break and visited my daughter and her family for 3 days. My mother stayed at my sister's house for those 3 days. When I came back from my weekend, my sister brought her home and told me that for those 3 days she was walking without her walker, loading the dishwasher, helping her cook etc.. When my sister left, my mother went back to "normal" She was confused, weepy, totally forgot that she had spent time at my sister's and was exhausted. The next day, she was still tired and confused. My question is could it be possible that while at my sister's she was "showtimeing" all that time and when she returned home to her normal environment, she felt no need to do that anymore?? And if she was "showtimeing" all that time, could that be the reason she was so exhausted when she got home????
Even without the showtiming, visiting a different environment can wear out someone who has dementia. And showtiming is definitely exhausting.
Oh, and since her sister says she does so well there, why not take her there for more regular visits. You could use the respite time. And if mom is very happy with it, all the better.