My mom is going into a nursing home and as her medical power of attorney, I want to know if there is a way I can limit the visitor access to immediate family.
I wish to keep my cousin from visiting my mom and sticking her nose in our business.
Is there a way I can do that? I would hope so.
They don't get much loving touch in a nursing home, it's usually a caregiver doing something uncomfortable for the elder.
I think it's a power trip to decide you are going to stop someone that loves your mom from visiting because of personal quirks that you and her sister find annoying. Build a bridge and get over it. Be happy that she wants to visit mom.
My mother is 95 and lives in a Memory Care AL with advanced dementia. I would honestly be THRILLED if my cousins had it in them to visit her, ever, no matter what their 'vaccination status' was, b/c my mother would be delighted to see them. And SHE is vaxxed, which is what counts in that department. To me, it's more important that our loved ones feel loved by their family members than it is to stay hyper focused on keeping them 'safe'.
Sorry if that's not the answer you're looking for (obviously), but it's how I feel after dealing with a mother in MC for nearly 3 years now and a whole lot of covid fatigue on everyone's part.
She is not physically up to dining with other residents and chattering with them.
With my cousin it was pretty much all about her own feelings and wants... she has no regard for my feelings or even my mom's.
The more I thought about it, I don't see how I could really stop her from visiting the nursing home anyway. She uses multiple names and changes her appearance frequently. Add to that the staff turnover (particularly at the front entrance) and no one would really remember to be watching for her anyway and she could probably walk right in without anyone knowing she was not supposed to be there . Trying to ban one person may not really be enforceable, so you might want to give that some thought. The other thing I realized is that this visitor can aggravate just as much through a phone call - which would be even harder to put a stop to.
Apart from annoyance, what's the issue with the nosy cousin? What harm results from her curiosity?
Well, I am going to try to get it enforced anyway.
The problem is my cousin is one of those people who cannot socially distance and behave herself. She thinks she has to hug, kiss, slurp, breathe on and practically talk nose-to-nose with people . She's part Italian... and even her own sister doesn't like how she invades people's personal space!!
Also, I am not sure about my cousin's vaccination status if she is fully boostered or not.
Secondly my 89 year old mom just got her COVID booster shot today, and she is still unvaxxed for the flu.
It will take about 3 - 4 weeks before she has some extra immunity from the COVID booster. She got the Johnson and Johnson shot way back in April 2021.
So with that said, I just want to keep my mom as safe as possible. I was pretty furious that my brother who lives several thousand miles away even tipped off my cousin about my mom being in the hospital.
BTW, my mom has advanced dementia and will be housed in the secure wing of the nursing home building.
Don't count on the nursing home to monitor her visitors unless all visitors have to sign in and out electronically and be buzzed in.They may have a system that would veto some visitors. My mom's first nursing home told me they couldn't monitor who came and went (totally absurd), and a complete stranger (to me) visited her and blabbed her business all over town afterward. Needless to say, I was livid when the NH told me they couldn't monitor who comes and goes.
While I could find much to complain about I think it is asking alot for staff to know or remember that a certain person is not a positive in influence at the facility. In that case barring them would be prudent. Otherwise I think the staff may feel it is nice for a resident to have a visitor. So many dont.
I have a sister-in-law who is very much the same thing as the OP describes. I totally get it.
Always judge by how it affects your loved one.