Hello All,
I have an aging parent that can no longer care for his home and forgets to pay bills. Thank you so much for your time and input. My father immigrated here as an adult and works a part time job. When I visit, his home shows signs of neglect and he is misplacing things. We received calls that he missed paying some bills, he does have the money or from what we can see he has the resources to pay. He is extremely defensive when we confront him about these issues but would not be able to "get by" without our help. How can we convince him to sell his home and move so that his life (and ours) would be better and easier to manage?
He has shown signs of dementia or possibly Alzheimers but refuses to see doctors to confirm diagnosis.
Many thanks,
Bear in mind his ability to adapt to a new home and hometown may not be ideal either.
Are there other things that would really be a draw for him to live near you? Grandkids? Hobby clubs? A similar part time job or volunteering?
It's a generation thing, all my parents siblings lived and died in their own homes, same with their parents, so naturally they have to follow along. Thank goodness my generation we are looking into moving ourselves to retirement communities.... it would be so nice not to worry about maintaining a house, each year my backyard seems bigger and bigger :P
The only way some of us will get our parent(s) to move to a safer location is when they get a sudden serious illness or have a major fall... thus hospitalization, then rehab, then doctor's orders to move to assisted living.
Where do you intend for him to move to? The reason I ask, is because moving him in with you or another family member is not necessarily going to be EASIER. There is an extreme adjustment to having someone move in with you. Emotionally as well as physically. Plus he's still working. Would he be able to keep his job if he moved? A job can be very important to the well being of an individual.
Refusal to see a doctor to confirm a major fear is not unusual. Yes it is a bit of "head in the sand", but it is a human reaction.