I have two 70-year-old parents that are in constant finger pointing. Of course, I'm in the middle. I recently went through a divorce so now I'm a single mom with two teenagers. Parents live next door and each one of them has decided to use me to complain about the other. Both claiming that the other person is not thinking or in the right frame of mind. I am desperate for advise on what to do. How do I know who is correct or what if both of them are starting to have signs of dementia?
I try not to take sides, but, what I do is point out how we have to be understanding of the other. Like Mom, daddy gets distracted easily, so, just put the dinner on the table. If it's cold when he returns, he can warm it up. Stop stressing about it. Or with Daddy, I'll say, let mom have her Christmas. She loves it, she's not going to change, so let's just try to be happy and not ruin it for her. If I end it with strong support for them, they usually take it well. Still, it can be frustrating.
Sorry to hear what is happening. Its hard to be in the middle. I'm glad you were able to have some boundaries. I wish I did but instead I let the anger and resentment overwhelm me.
Its hard being home all the time. I hope your parents can find some activities that interest them. Before my dad passed, he loved going to the local McDonald's to meet with his retired friends for coffee and a chit chat. Maybe a seniors day care might be something to get them out of the house and socializing.
Jamie
Your parents need to find things to do, places to go, people to see. At 70 they are still quite young by today's standards. Maybe they can do volunteer work. My parents did that and what a difference that made in their lives... "working" made them feel younger :)