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Have just joined a caregivers group session ,once a week and found a way to
vent my anger . it is a way of letting of steam.Every one has a different issue
however, the common denominator is care giving. No one sees light at the end of
the tunnel. But when you hear other peoples sad stories I dont feel so bad
and when The time comes that I can not handle it I have made arrangement
to have my wive placed in a palliative care centre

I to get no thanks from any one,not that I am looking for that, but it would be nice
from a family member who by the way are not as involved with their mother
as I am

So you see every one gets through the day somehow
Make time to get out of the house for a couple of hours
even for a cup of joe at the mall.

If possible, leave mom or dad alone for this time depending on the severity
of course. I do and it help a lot and you will be a different frame of mind

Take care
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Sonnybee = I get mad at my brother who does not come down or call that often as I think he should (he lives 50 miles away). I think we are all there in one way or another. There is not much I can add to what everybody has said but we are all there with you. My mom is in several Bridge groups and she has not wanted to go lately. She says it is her eyes or she is sore all over. For a month she was not able to get in my car either. We got her a therapist and she was able to get in the car again. And I do her exercises with her every day. Now she does not want to play. Yes, I am a little angry mainly because it is the only time I can be alone in the house. Well, I tell myself how selfish that is but then I need my time. I am her primary caregiver and do not work. She needs me 24/7. I guess I resent the fact that she does not feel well enough to go so I can have my time. It is so hard some days. We all want our loved ones to be the way they used to be - Full of life, going places with them, talking to them about things other than their medications and doctor appts. I miss the mom that used to be but I know I should be trying to enjoy what I have. God bless and take care
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Yell here. That is the main purpose of this site. Yell all that you can. Tell us what you are doing and feeling. We are hewre for that.
For about ten years I saw the process of dementia in my mother-in-law, still that did not prepare myself for my actual condition of only caregiver of my wife, in Alz D moderate, but clear. I feel angry, with everything, for everything. And force to be silent. We are with you, yell You are doing fine... we are doing our best effort to be , just to be...
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Sonnybee, a couple of years ago (my husband had had dementia 7-8 years at that point) I was working full time, mostly from home. I liked my coworkers and enjoyed seeing them when I went into the office. We were very productive over the phone. On coworker I particularly liked had an annoying habit of taking forever to get to the point. But I took that in stride -- we all have our quirks. One week I snapped at him on the phone over how long the conversation was going on. A few days later I cried on the phone with my boss. Oh-oh, I think I was losing it. I was still pretty patient with my husband but I sure had a short fuse with everyone else. I made some appointments. I was diagnosed with depression (no surprise) and at another clinic with sleep apnea. Not only was I getting too little sleep, it was of poor quality. With those two things being treated I returned to my pleasant, tolerant, mostly coping-well self.

Sonnybee, if you have just hit a rough spot it may be enough to get some exercise every day and to carve out some "me" time. If this seems more persistent and deeply rooted, if you sometimes feel like an imposter has taken over your personality and it isn't someone you particularly like, I suggest a thorough check up, with special attention to any health problems you have been having. People are always telling us to take care of ourselves. Well, we do need to do that, and this is a good time for you to pay attention to your needs.
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LindafromVT, I hear your frustration. As an only child, you shoulder the burden. With hope, your husband is supportive. I'm sure he wants to enjoy retirement too so are there friends, church groups, or even volunteers from Girl Scout clubs that could come in and help with your mom even a little or at least visit with her? Since she's able to do some things but for whatever reason is resisting, she might be open to Girl Scouts earning badges (perhaps). It's hard when they are at the stage in which they are not doing what is needed (showering readily comes to mind) but you can't push them.

A little story:
My father has declined enough to be more compliant when it comes to showering (it's warm!) but several years ago he was not. In fact, we once had a "stand off." We were to go to a play that a relative was in and he really needed to get cleaned up. I'd given up on the shower but insisted on another shirt. He continually refused and I'd run out of tactics, so I just told him that he had to change his shirt or we weren't going. He just stood there, so I said I mean it and by the way, "I can be every bit as stubborn as you are." His reply? "Yea, but I've had more practice!"

Would you believe we both laughed and he did change shirts (because he decided to).

Good luck!
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i get kinda sprung when every household problem or mishap is up to me to resolve but every solution i come up with is vehemently denounced by my mother. its like someone is putting you in a straight jacket then demanding results from you.
i think the anger comes from the fact that the parent has always been self centered and difficult but now the depression and dementia amplifies the character traits. the parent child relationship is the longest running one of your life and you can get pretty tired of the parents yap. i totally understand why my dad died 13 years ago...cause he WANTED to. lol..
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my sister refuses to face me or even speak to me as she says she cannot help. But she wil have her hand out for any monies there might be at the end. Taking care of Mom is making me sick. I am not well. I am in dire need of a support gruop and cannot find one in the lake worth area.
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I'm a 59 year old man who is primary care giver for my 85 year old mother.Three sisters in the neighbourhood that offer no help.Mother is disabled with arthritis and has major hearing loss.Last week I was out on errands and had a run in with one of those terrible drivers.The young woman in her late twentys blew through a stop sign .I had the through street and was turning right.She came at me on the left so I went for the curb with my truck while blowing the horn.She gave me the middle finger,cut me off and stopped at the next light.The light turned green she sat there so I blew my horn,we went through the light and she slammed her brakes on and stared in her mirror.I stopped and the traffic backed up into the intersection,then after 30 seconds she drove on for 100 yrd. and did it again.She pulled into a parking lott a mile further,I followed and she stopped blocking the exit.Unfortunately I got out and walked up to her car,she was on the phone,I kicked the rocker panel scratching the paint.I turned around and the police were waiting.They threatened to take me to jail.She had already called the police and they coached her how to set it up.I'm charged with mischief for kicking her car and assault because she felt threatened.Now I'm paying $1900 for a complete paint job,have to write an apology and 10 weeks of anger management.I have no criminal past and a clean driving record.Now my lawyer wanted to put it through her insurance and me pay the deductable but she refused because last year someone keyed her whole car and she had to claim it.Oh I also pay for a car rental for her which she will no doubt keep for the weekend so she can take a free trip on me.Watch your anger folks,it could happen to you.
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Good lesson Johnb, good lesson. Thank you very much. It may be expensive to lose temper, many people is mean and miserable, and we have (in broad terms) only a short fuse because of what we are doing as caretakers, our main function.
Thank you again
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a good cautionary tale. probably why most of us blow up at our family, we know that:
A. they won't call the cops.
B. they will love us after they cool down.

But man oh man that cheap little btch had it coming to her. You would think everyone had a clue when she had already been keyed once before. Sometimes justice does not come fast enough.

Oh who am I kidding? Justice NEVER comes fast enough!
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Don't do what I just did.
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You are absolutly right PamelaSue. Even if there are times in which the feeling of impotence, of desperation makes dificult, or almost imposible to evoid leaving, sending a strong jet of anger, of steam, in whichever direction, in whomever be present, just to feel alive, just to feel that something can be done... I understand that for many people is impossible to stop and think, and turn around...
A hug to everyone
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Sonnybee I've been asking the same question for weeks now!:) Soozi sorry for what you went through I can relate:) I never used to listen to hard rock music but a friend turned me out to bands like Creed and Nickleback. The singers sing lyrics that are often very positive in nature and the power and the rawness some days is the only thing that I look forward to.

Ok seriously I punched a pillow once and felt so much better! I want to buy a punching bag and maybe take a martial arts class...I do exercise regularly which helps but I find when I'm angry sometimes I overdo it and end up REALLY sore. I meditate, pray that helps too.

Honestly some days nothing helps. Going here helps! I am part-time caregiver for my dad and he's been really hostile lately.

I'm sure you are a great caregiver, thumbs up and thanks for sharing! Hope you feel better soon:)
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I see your point as to why you feel angry. As a caregiver to my very difficult and challenging grandpa, what works for me is to get some fresh air DAILY outdoors. If you have to go to the park for an hour and sit on the bench or take a walk or sit outside in your backyard, as long as you are outdoors getting some air, it helps. When the weather is nice and warm, I would take my grandpa with me to a park. It benefits him because he gets uplifted. Fresh air helps alot.
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I don't know how to post information to this site, but this important article about soaring medical cost for Alzheimers and dementia patients appeared in today's New York Times. I hope this study will alert political policy makers that caregivers need financial and other support.: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/04/04/health/dementia-care-costs-are-soaring-study-finds.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20130404&_r=0
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wouldn't it be cool if the politicians read it? what's more, actually CARED ABOUT IT? i won't hold my breath, lol!

we could send copies of it to them. :)
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Hi. I just went through this with my mother. She passed away last week and the emotions are still raw. I felt terrible when I would feel any emotions that are viewed as negative. One thing that really helped me through was to accept whatever emotion I was feeling. If we try and stuff them down, they just get worse and tear you up. You are on the emotional roller coaster so strap in and allow yourself to feel whatever emotion that comes along. Just don't allow yourself to get stuck in the negative emotions.
One thing I found that helped me was journaling my emotions. That was so therapeutic.
Best wishes.
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