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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Is this a symptom of caregiver burnout, depression in myself etc. It is so very uncomfortable and embarrassing when asked how I'm faring with my husband and I can hardly get words out without tears.
My SIL used to vent about our MIL. We would say the awful things about her. But because we could vent to each other, we never said those things to her. If we had not had each other to talk to, one of us, would probably have had a nervous breakfront, or said something very hurtful to her. I am so thankful we were there for each other.
Yes, being on the verge of tears all the time could be an indication of depression. Here is another possibility: you may be in mourning. This man whom you love very much and are now taking care of is not the man you fell in love with and married. This is not how you envisioned your life together. So you've had a loss. But it is a kind of hidden loss. There is no announcement in the paper. Friends aren't sending flowers and showing up with a hug and some food. Your grief is private, and you may even feel guilty or embarrassed for having the grief. Or maybe you don't even recognize that that is what is going on. I don't know your husband's prognosis. Maybe he will recover fully and you'll get back the life you envisioned with him. I hope so. But right now you are experiencing a very sad loss. Allow yourself some grief.
Or I may be way off base. For all I know you had a bad marriage and now you are stuck with caring for someone you were planning to divorce. You've still lost the life you were planning for yourself and that is still sad.
Or maybe this is caregiver burnout and the depression that often accompanies that.
Whatever the explanation is I think you would do well to see a specialist for medical treatment and also a therapist for counselling. You deserve it! Would you be comfortable with the doctor who is treating your husband? Get your own doctor if that would feel better. You are in a very hard situation. You deserve all the help you can get.
Please come back and tell us how you are doing and what steps you are taking to take care of yourself.
Sorry you are feeling down, Suszisews and thanks for JessieBelle's comment as have been feeling the same way as well. Seem to be going from grumpy to wanting to cry and holding it in most of the time and not easy or healty either. Hope your hubby is understanding and supportive of you. Please take care and give yourself a break.
How you are feeling is not unusual. It is, in a way, better than becoming numb. Numb is easier to handle, but when we get numb about one thing, it carries over to others. So feel your feelings and know they are yours. Also find someone you can talk to about how you feel. It doesn't have to be a therapist, but just someone you can trust with your feelings.
If you are like me, the more you try to suppress feelings, the more intense they become. I remember watching ET The Extraterrestrial many years ago. I was trying to be stoic and not show any emotions. Well, at the end of the movie, I broke down in tears far more emotional than the movie called for. I know it was because I was trying not to show emotions, and I was so afraid of showing emotions, that when they came out they were way out of proportion.
The same thing happens when I talk sometimes. I can be saying something that is not so emotional, but then I have to stop because for some reason tears well up in the deepest part of me. Never have figured that one out.
So you are not alone in feeling the tears coming when you talk about your husband. Is his depression getting better? The nice thing about typing about it is that you can cry and we will never know. :')
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Or I may be way off base. For all I know you had a bad marriage and now you are stuck with caring for someone you were planning to divorce. You've still lost the life you were planning for yourself and that is still sad.
Or maybe this is caregiver burnout and the depression that often accompanies that.
Whatever the explanation is I think you would do well to see a specialist for medical treatment and also a therapist for counselling. You deserve it! Would you be comfortable with the doctor who is treating your husband? Get your own doctor if that would feel better. You are in a very hard situation. You deserve all the help you can get.
Please come back and tell us how you are doing and what steps you are taking to take care of yourself.
If you are like me, the more you try to suppress feelings, the more intense they become. I remember watching ET The Extraterrestrial many years ago. I was trying to be stoic and not show any emotions. Well, at the end of the movie, I broke down in tears far more emotional than the movie called for. I know it was because I was trying not to show emotions, and I was so afraid of showing emotions, that when they came out they were way out of proportion.
The same thing happens when I talk sometimes. I can be saying something that is not so emotional, but then I have to stop because for some reason tears well up in the deepest part of me. Never have figured that one out.
So you are not alone in feeling the tears coming when you talk about your husband. Is his depression getting better? The nice thing about typing about it is that you can cry and we will never know. :')