I've been taking care of my mom for over 4 years 24/7 and we are a low income family. My sister helps for a few hours once in awhile, but she has to take care of her husband. Adult day care is too expensive for us. My boyfriend of 15 years broke up with me because he thinks I should put my mom in a home. I promised her from the start that I would never do that. I'm so exhausted, angry and feel guilty. My mother is very manipulative and doesn't want anyone to help her except me. I've tried having a caregiver come in and my mom wouldn't let her near her. Plus my mom is hoarding and im freaking out.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/i-promised-my-parents-i-d-never-put-them-in-a-nursing-home-133904.htm plus over 100 responses.
I promised my mum she wouldn't have to go into a home, but I reached breaking point. Mom is now in an assisted living facility and has a far better social life than I do. And we have gone back to being mother and daughter.
Insist she gets help in from outside. If you collapse, then she may well find herself in a home anyway.
I know it feels like there's no alternative when you are in the middle of burnout. I believed I had to be the one to do everything. But that's really not the case.
Is your mom on Medicaid?