I have been caring for my mom for 2 years. Mid dimentia and TBI. Not mobile. She can basically feed herself the rest has been up to me. My children are a mess have lost a relationship due to this and now im facing placement for her because i dont know if this is doable anymore. She is at a skilled nursing facility and is talking crazy things to staff and certain family members. I'm hurt, upset, and feel very betrayed. I don't know if my health will hold up during this mess.
I was going to reference Christopher Reeves and TBI, and a cite popped up (not the Mayo Clinic) and said there were some called TBI's, ABI's and congenital one's, they also said Christopher Reeves was an ABI (acquired brain injury) the same website actually said TBI could only happen when you are a child which I know to be false, as a stroke is a known TBI and I have had three of them.
It is awful when family members cannot bring themselves to help, but only criticize the caregiver, or demonize the caregiver and belittle them or calling them martyrs, for caring about the person. I guess there comes a time in the whole process where it can become too much for one person, dementia people create stories, and out right lies, they learn it while trying to cover up their forgetfulness in the earlier stages of dementia, you just have to let it go. I usually ask our 86 year old questions about her story, as if I were listening to a budding writer in class, sometimes her answers could have happened might have happened but are really only in their own mind.
Good Luck, I guess I wanted you/everyone to know that you are really not totally alone, as caregivers we do share a bond of knowing different.
and to balexander9 can you qualify for daycare by going through senior services?
Senior services can send someone to your house for respite care. Also some insurances cover some long term care, but the social workers know more than I do.
I did want to ask, though, is this "talking crazy" something that's fairly recent? Just since being in the care facility? Since before going into the care facility? Or more recent? In other words, is it new behavior and out of the norm for her?
The reason I ask is, the elderly can become very altered, very quickly, with a UTI. I've seen it with my mom over and over again. She's the sweetest woman in the world normally, but I've seen her punch out nurses, need three orderlies to restrain her (she weighed 80# at the time), and "talk crazy" when she has one.
It might be worth looking into...
Good luck, I wish you both the best.
I do not have knowledge of Traumatic Brain Injury, but I do know about dementia. Patients with dementia will tell stories, especially about the family member who is caring for them. It is too difficult for them to understand and accept their limitations so they blame the primary care giver who is usually a family member. People who work in snh know how to handle it and should be able to it without pointing fingers to you. As long as you have DPOA and your mother is incapacitated, family members who know and understand her situation will ignore her comments. Are there family members who are trying to makes issues out of her comments? If so, you can ban them from visiting her. However, if it is a case where you are hurt by her comments, unfortunately you will have to learn to detach emotionally from your mothers words. I know this is hard to do but try to look at it as it is the dementia talking not your mother. Do not take what she says personally. It takes practice and you can google detaching with love to get more info on it. It does not mean you no longer care, it just means you learn to not let her words hurt you as much on an emotional level which allows you to make logical decisions instead of emotional decisions. Please know this phase will pass in time. Hugs to you and keep us posted!!