My mother and I go out to eat each week after church. We normally go to the type place where I order, get the drinks, then bring the food to the table -- you know, fast food style. I told my mother that today I wanted to go to a restaurant that had waiters, so we could just sit down and enjoy. She started talking about the expense and the cost of tipping the waiter. These costs were pretty trivial to me, but she saw no reason for "throwing money away like crazy." I let it drop, because I could tell it was headed toward an argument if I said anything.
But I thought wouldn't it be nice to have someone waiting on me every now and then. I knew my request was not unreasonable, just that she was comfortable like it is now with me doing the serving. We don't even have to tip me.
It did bother me very much that I had expressed and need that had been taken as a complaint. Caregivers still have needs, but they get put off so much that soon others forget they exist. This sounds trivial, but I have the feeling that we caregivers go through this a lot... and soon we learn that our own needs are not important.