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Great suggestions from geewiz! There is no rule (fortunately) that respite can only be provided by family. An adult day center could be the perfect solution, and give Mom a change of scenery and new people to tell her stories to.

My other suggestion would be to grow a backbone. Sigh. It's hard, I know, but putting your sanity at risk so as not to hurt your mother's feelings or to live up to the unrealistic expectations of your sibs doesn't really make any sense, does it? "Sis, I'll be leaving as soon as you guys arrive Sunday. Please bring something for your lunch -- Mom likes KFC, and you know she loves your homemade lasagne, but whatever you want is fine with me. I'll be back around 6 pm." Be pleasant and firm. You don't owe anyone lengthy explanations.

Good luck!
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I suspect your scenario is played out with every member of this site! The stories we could tell!

How are your Mom's financial resources?? If there are funds, sign her up for an adult day center where she will be with folks her age while you have a chance to get your head on straight. Make arrangements ahead of time to have a friend call you shortly after family has arrived. Your friend will need help and you are running off to assist her/him. (Less conflict with your Mom.) Hire a companion for a few hours a few days a week. Have the companion take Mom out on nice days or you can go out those days. Any complaints about the expenditure, let your sister/brother/in-laws take a FULL day for you. Make plans early with sibs in on the plan. EVERYONE deserves some time to him/herself.

On the humorous side, my Mom is in an AL. For those not using them, family still needs to be there frequently. My local sib goes 2Xs a week and visits. No checking on anything. When the out of state sibs come in, the local sib doesn't visit. SO-O-o I am always on 5 days a week and the additional help from the out of staters, reduces the local sib's visits. I order all of the products that are needed and truck them over to AL. I pay all of the bills. Mend the clothes. Straighten out the room from the junk they leave behind (open containers of food; plants that need to be watered and flowers that die). AND I am sure I am better off than many others so, I am only rolling my eyes!

Before I moved my Mom to AL (BTW I did all of the looking for one that was appropriate) I couldn't get ANY help from the local sib and the out of staters expected me to call/e-mail each day with reports. I was so burned out at that time, I was like you are now. Since she is ok physically, ask around and you may find someone to do companion duty. A young Mom that could do a few hours while her kids are in school, for example. Everyone needs extra money these days so there are more people available.
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