I have been caring for mom now for 7 years and she has been living with us for a year after she had the flu last year that took a toll on her. She has Alzheimer's and dementia. I work FT, take care of her, when I am at work have to have caregiver's come in, my husband helps 2 days a week also. I take care of her condo and have a renter in there - this is how I fund some of her caregiving bills. In addition I have to use her pension and ss. I was thinking about selling her condo - and am getting conflicting advice not knowing what to do. When I sell her condo she has debt that I would be paying off. Legally are we able to charge her for living with us to help off set some of the expenses that we have incurred with her? She makes too much to qualify for medicaid - and doesn't make enough to pay for a nursing home which in MI runs - 5-7000K a month for her care. So in the mean time I am running like a crazy lady trying to do everything myself. I was told she qualifies for ss spousal benefit of 1100 a month which will help but has not been approved yet - (can take up to 2 yrs)even with that it would still not pay for a nursing home - she gets 1500 a month in ss and pension. Has no bank account - and her meds are out of control as she is stuck in the donut hole now. Ex - one drug that she is on seroquel xr one a day - her co=pay this month was $178 - one months supply wo insurance is $453.00. That is only one of the 8 pills that she is on.
Does anyone have any advice? Thanks Jane
It doesn't sound as though your mom makes too much for qualifying for Medicaid, the issue is that if she has the condo, and she qualifies for Medicaid, when she passes away Medicaid will want their money back out of her equity in the condo.
If you can sell the condo, do it. Then Medicaid allows for $5000/month in expenses. You can pay yourself that much or less. I am going to be paying myself $2000 to spend down my mom’s money.
When you sell an asset like a home, there is a “penalty” period that Medicaid requires that you wait for before your mom will qualify. For example: my mom’s house was $61,000 in equity. We will have to wait 12 months before my mom will qualify for Medicaid (12 months times $5000). This is how Medicaid protects itself from fraud.
There were a lot of bills that had to be paid off so we paid those off and will spend down my mom’s money so that in April of 2014 she will qualify for Medicaid. Medicaid only allows less than $2000 to be in her savings account in order to qualify. They will use all of her social security (all but $155) for her nursing home care when she goes into one.
I recommend you see an elder attorney to give you guidance in all of this. It doesn’t cost a lot but is well worth it when your mom gets to the point where she isn’t able to take care of herself, then you won’t be surprised.
I’ve gone through all of this, with my dad (when my dad was qualifying we protected my mom’s assets) and now going through it all with my mom. My mom gets about $1400 in social security and pensions so it doesn’t sound like your mom makes too much to qualify.
If I were you, go back into your bank statements, for at least a year and see how much it has cost for all the respite care, caregivers, etc. Document it all. Then get an idea as to how much it cost you to have your mom at home. If you want to pay yourself a little more than that, then do it. You deserve it.
Another thing, the state used to pay family members as caregivers for their parents. Oregon took that away a couple years ago due to budget cuts. BUT, when/if your mom qualifies for Medicaid, and she doesn’t go into a nursing home, you can be paid, through the state for taking care of her.
To be sure that things are set up lawfully and in your mother's best interest, I suggest consulting an estate planner or an elder law attorney to decide whether to sell the condo, what to do with money from that, and to draw up a personal services contract spelling out what she is paying you and what you provide for her.
You are generous and caring to devote so much time and attention to your mother. You certainly should not take on a financial burden as well, as long as she can afford to pay you.