Am I the only one, or are any of you other caregivers dealing with the symptoms of menopause along with your caregiving duties? I get about 3-4 hrs. of sleep a night and then wake up soaking wet from night sweats. When I get a bit of time to myself , I cry.. without my mum knowing. Sometimes I get so angry (not at my mum) I shake, it just lasts a few minutes and then it's over. My emotions are up and down and everything seems overwhelming at times. Other than HRT, have any of you found a way to keep calm and reduce symptoms so it doesn't affect your caregiving duties? I do go for a 45 minute walk every day.
Smitty has some good advice. I'd also try meditation. Dr. Andrew Weil offers many natural ways to relax. There are, of course, many types of meditation. The idea is to free the mind from worry. If you gain comfort from turning your troubles over to God, then use meditation as a means to do that. Yoga stretches (you needn't worry about any "religious" meaning here, just the physical stretches) can be very relaxing. Dr. Weil's site is just one of many to show you some poses.
Remember that, as Smitty says, you are doing your best. You know you aren't angry with your mom. It's your jumbled hormones. You may be interested in knowing that several studies have shown HRT given for just a few years can be beneficial.
By all means, don't blame yourself. Look for relaxation and relief any way you can get it (in a healthy manner, obviously). And try to get some respite help with your mom so it doesn't feel like everything depends on you.
Take care,
Carol
It has just been an overwhelming year with having to move in with mum last year and then my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer at the same time (she has had chemo and radiation.. hopefully it was all a success), and I find now that I am spending my time caring for mum I have a lot more time to "think" and that is not always a good thing. Combining all of that with fluctuating hormones and insomnia, sometimes it gets the better of me. Exercise helps and I will look into the meditation. Thanks for the suggestions!
I go to gym 3 times a week to lift weights, listen to music and connect with others.
Walk daily with dog and sweetheart.
Try to do yoga... local community places. Only Gentle/Restorative yoga, because in addition to the walking and weights, it's more about stretching, meditation and reminders to stay centered, etc.
On top of all this, I too wake with night sweats. Jump out of bed! Seems like I can't sleep for more than 1.5 -2 hours at a time. Can't be good in the long run and I have been doing this for years! When I do notice that I've slept for 4 hours straight I dance with joy!
I am NOT suggesting this, but it seems to help. I run down to the freezer and eat a sugar free ice pop. It cools me down and I fall back to sleep quickly. The bad side is the fake sugar! So this week I am trying a small cool cucumber to cool down. I know it sounds silly, but it is much more healthy than fake sugar ice pop...
I've tried hormones, melatonin, and every other suggestion from Weil and Oz. I feel like they just push products and nothing really helped. So, I'm munching a cool cucumber at night and hope to sleep.
Started the "Engine 2, Plant Strong 28 Day Challenge". Dr. Esselstyn and other doctors and medical researchers found that the consumption of only vegetable products (excluding fat/oil, salt, sugar) is very healthy. I'm not an expert, but the research is compelling and you can find it on the internet.
My best wishes to you. I think women should band together and address this issue, because the medical field doesn't seem to get it. For me it has lasted 10+ years!
My mom's approach was to "ignore it" and get on with life. That's another thing we could try. Make believe it's not really happening. ;-) I find that very difficult, because it IS happening and I for one need to keep looking for answers. Yoga, exercise and working on eating super healthy is kind of fun. :-)
But google "dr weil menopause herbs" and you will find plenty of natural herbs that DO help menopause as well as many that are routinely recommended but DO NOT have ANY science to back them up. So you can see what might be worth it to try for you and your symptoms as well as what NOT to bother with. Don't ever forget that herbs, although natural, provide material doses of plant ingredients. Side effects should always be checked against prescription medications and other supplements before taking.
HYLANDS Standard Homeopathic remedy number 13 is an old standby for menopausal symptoms. It is a combination remedy and doesn't work because it is a combination, isn't "stronger" because of the combination of ingredients, but will work if one of the ingredients is the one you need for your symptoms. Non-toxic. No contra-indications with other medications or supplements and easily available online or at most health food stores.
I know exactly how you feel. I am in that place myself. I have been taking care of my mother who has dementia for the past 7+ years. I take ashwagandha at night and it relieves night sweats. Also tart cherry juice at night helps with sleep.
Make sure you have dinner at least 3 hrs before sleep and try not to have alcohol at night because this increases night sweat. Try to be detatched when dealing with your mother. I know this is easier said than done :) God bless you. Your reward is waiting in heaven.
I began with Serafem (yes, it is Prozac) about 12 years ago, when I was in perimenopause. They call it "Serafem" for a reason. It does help cope with female hormone changes. The doctor told me if it were hormone related I would feel better in about two weeks and I did. I stopped taking it a few years ago and waited. The 'dark cloud' hovered for a while and I decided there was no reason to feel any worse than I needed to. This time I changed to another antidepressant, which this current doc thought might have fewer side effects regarding weight gain. I really didn't notice any difference one way or the other. But I know I feel better when I take something.
I also have been coping with degenerative disc disease (terrible back and neck pain) as well as having discovered I had hyperparathyroid disease (the two tumors they removed were estimated to be about eight years old). There are many bad side effects from that including osteoporosis, mind fog, confusion and depression, heart and circulation problems, kidney stones, terrific bone pain. I thought it was all menopause and age related. So have a complete work up too. Take care. It isn't easy.
I appreciate all of the responses, everyone has had something helpful to suggest and I appreciate it so much. It makes me feel less alone with this. :-)
I don't eat a lot of anything soy, but when I gave up HRT patches, I began taking an OTC form of soy and black cohosh which has helped with the night sweats. As for 'getting out as much as you do' I don't think you know how much that is! I think my point over all is that when you take care of anyone else you have to fit in some time for yourself or you will have nothing to give. I equate it to a pitcher - pour out all the water, don't refill it, and you are dry. The way I see menopause - what the experience has been for me, anyway - is just another change, not THE change. I always had very heavy, bad periods with pain, clotting and cramping. I was diagnosed with severe PMS in my 30's and when I 'toughed it out' by not addressing those mood swings, depression and crying jags, it wasn't good for anyone around me OR me. My regimen with Serafem was two weeks on, two off. I began to forget when to stop and restart, so the doctor told me to continue just to take it every day if the two on, two off worked for me. Very low dose, too. So I knew my issues were hormonal. Yours may or may not be. Or a different medication might be better. It is clinically proven that when people are placed under prolonged stress, their brain chemistry changes. Mixing constant care taking with hormonal changes is to say the least very stressful.
I am not arguing with you; I just think perhaps you didn't get what I was saying. I certainly do wish you very well. What you are doing is hard but you are attempting to make things work better for you and I applaud you.
"What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Menopause"
By John Lee, MD
I was in the health food store, picked up a copy of this book, read the forward and stood there crying .. someone knew how I felt! And I wasn't going crazy.
I bet the library has a copy.