My mother has a great new caregiver who really is a good fit. She cooks, cleans and handles daily activities for my mother. The big problem is she talks nonstop. I mean nonstop. So far my mother is not complaining too much. Just today she said “it’s bad”. She has early dementia and I just don’t want all the talking to cause her unnecessary anxiety. How do I tell this girl to stop talking so much? How in the world could she not realize that she’s talking nonstop? Even when she texts me she goes on and on!
Help!
If she is young she might not know that being quite is alright. So many young people do not know what to do with quiet. They are inundated with noise from phones, with computers, with all the "social activity" the idea that every thought must be communicated in some way.
If you like her and she is doing a great job then like any job you need to tell her. I am sure jobs that you have had after a brief time your manager has given you feedback on what you are going well and what needs improvement.
If you don't tell her she will never know.
Also with dementia it may take a person 45 seconds to hear a comment or question, process it then formulate a response. 45 seconds does not sound like a lot but it is an eternity when you want an answer.
Tell this caregiver that your mom needs time between statements to process and respond. This might help. And this is something that she will benefit from in this line of work.
Also tell her to keep texts short that when you are out and busy yourself you don't have time to read War and Peace the Cliffs Notes are all you need.
And tell her again that she is doing a good job.
With Dementia patients, the less said the better. Short and sweet. Make sure you tell her what a great job she is doing. When u mention her talking, be nice. She could have ADD, ADHD, and this is a symptom of it. I am a talker. I realize this and try to stem it. I am able to read between the lines when people hint to me I am talking too much. I have had a couple be nasty, which they really didn't have to do.
If she really talks as much as you say she does....this won't be the first time she has heard this. :-)
Best of luck.
I have had times I had to have a hard interview while working. The best of them start with the wonderful. "You are such a leader. Others look to you and follow you. You finish before everyone else, and help others. NOW. Let me ask you why, when staffing is tight, you freak out so bad. Because everyone follows your lead. Then they ALL freak out. And it's chaos. I can't let you do that. So. Are you aware you do that? Is there a reason why? Let's trouble shoot this".
You know, we did. And the thing is, all I can remember for the most part is all the GOOD things I heard.
So gently and certainly. You shouldn't have to live with it and it will make you dislike a wonderful worker. Let her know. It could help her overall.
Address issue saying what MOM said "it's bad"
Put burden on how it makes mom FEEL
Her living conditions need to be pleasant
If Mom needs/prefers peace and QUIET, she's the boss
Give caregiver a gentle warning that this chattering creates anxiety and needs to be curtailed. If not, MOM will be in need of a new person, which you'd rather not need to "go there."
Be gentle, but Frank
Mom has earned the right to be comfortable in her own home.
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M88
Some folks luv music anyway. Or put the music on in the house so all can enjoy it.
When the talking goes on & on, just smile & tap ur foot 2the tunes! She may get tired of talking over music eventually. If not the radio, maybe t.v. wud work for curing it.
Good luck:)
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