I've had quite the awakening in the two weeks since I've moved Dad in with me. It has been challenging to say the least, but he seems much happier and we've gotten a lot of the "issues" (translation: negiligence) he was dealing with at the AL under control. The incontinence, though still there, has balanced out and he's getting on a bathroom schedule to help. He's even put on three pounds!!
...but I'm in a situation in which I thought I'd never find myself. I knew in my 20's that motherhood wasn't on my list of "must do's". I was going to be the corporate gal and take girls trips and sip mimosas with my other unwed and unbred girlfriends and live the life of the urban chic.
Hello caregiving. At 41, I'm changing diapers, not getting much sleep, doing massive amounts of laundry... I even carry a "diaper bag" with a change of clothes, wet-wipes, fresh incontinence briefs and spill proof cups with straws for my Dad.
I never wanted to be a mother... but I AM one. It's interesting that someone overhearing my challenges could easily assume that I'm talking about caring for a child. It just made me think... which is easier?
They both have their challenges, but I'm led to believe that at least a parent knows that a child will eventually grow out of some of the challenging behaviors (potty training, dressing self, etc.) whereas a senior most likely will grow INTO more issues as time presses on.
It truly is a very sad state of existence. I don't even call my Dad's current state LIVING. He doesn't feel well most of the time. He's in a constant state of confusion. He needs help with EVERYTHING (which is hard for the proud sailor he used to be) and it takes 22 pills a day and 24-hour oxygen just to keep his feeble body functioning.
Watching him makes me sincerely hope that I leave this world before I end up like that. It breaks my heart.
my toddler is now ten and a joy.
No, the toddler doesn’t blame you for all the negativity in their life - that comes later when they’ve become a grown adult!
And I agree that it is harder with a strong willed adult that, due to health issues and cognitive decline, are unfortunately and reluctantly pushed back into a second childhood...
... and I hear you on the pressure washing thing. How does it get... EVERYWHERE?!?!
... and understand, I didn't ask this with any derogatory intentions.
Please do not punch me in the nose or give me a tongue lashing.
NUFF SAID!!!!!!!!
(Sorry... I got a bit ticked off)
That, just where the hell is D.B. Cooper and how the pyramids where constructed remains a mystery for the ages.
Rainman goes to bed in a heavy duty night time adult pull-up. Yet when he wets the bed EVERYTHING gets soaked from the protective mattress pad, every blanket, the comforter and occasionally- even his pillow.
YET - after I’ve stripped off his soaked. buttoned in the back, one piece pajamas - I find a bone dry pull-up.
Seriously??? Explain that one.
When you take the car keys away from a toddler you know they aren’t gonna go off and find their spare set, get in the car and put their and others life in danger.
A toddler isn’t going to order more checks by phone after you’ve hidden their checkbook and write thousands of dollars worth of checks to bogus sweepstakes and charities.
Cleaning diarrhea off the sweet
little bottom of a two-year old is a job that takes one minute and six baby wipes. Cleaning dried on diarrhea out of the pubic hair of a grown man can take 20 minutes - and a pressure washer.
A toddler wont call you every night for a month at 3am and ask you if it’s 3:00 in the morning or 3:00 in the afternoon.
When a toddler manipulates you its likely so they they can get you to give them a toy or a cookie. When your elderly parent manipulates you it’s so they can get you to give up your life to prop them up - so they can continue on living “independently”.
Shall I continue?!!
No comparison. No - I mean that in all seriousness. It’s an impossible comparison.
Guess what... I AM an elder caregiver like the others on this forum that had constructive responses.
Your silence is greatly appreciated in this instance!!! GOOD GRIEF!!!