My 90 year old mother lives independently and has been ok with it up to this point with the help of meals on wheels and with my either stopping by daily to help, or calling to check in.
I’ve tried consistently to get my siblings who live far away to make weekly (at a minimum) check in calls, and a brother that lives under an hour away to come up once a week. All are mostly retired with no kids at home and just enjoying life to it’s fullest. I still have minor kids at home and am the busiest one in the family and seem to be the only one who cares about mom consistently. When they do come they never look around and see what little things might be needing to be done (even a quick vacuum run or dust a shelf), they just sit for an hour then on their way - and check that box off until next time.
Some time soon we will have to move mom to some type of assisted living which I know at that point they will all swoop in and be the “experts” on what mom needs. But, until then how do I diffuse my resentment towards my siblings? I do what I do for my mom as a choice because I love her and respect her wishes to be at her home as long as possible, but I often feel the others are doing the bare minimum (to appease their guilt possibly) and are just waiting for her to pass and then swoop in for their share of the inheritance.
Finally got a grip and tried to look at the fact that they helped pass the time with Mom.
Please understand, that the non-caregivers will NEVER see the multitude of things that need to be done. The fingernails that need to be cleaned, the laundry, the dishes, the plants that need to be watered, groceries to shop for, etc.
You mention the possibility of an inheritance. Begin to buy services for Mom instead of doing everything yourself. It will save your sanity at the very least. Bring in a house cleaner (with Mom's money, of course). Order groceries etc online. See if there are services available to her, (For example, the Visiting Nurses assoc near me coordinates volunteers for home bound seniors. No charge and they do grocery shopping or friendly visits!)