I am 43 & caring for my 91 yr old mother. I can't go anywhere because she requires insulin injections & no one else can give them. Hopefully some respite care will get approved through Medicaid soon but they do not cover injections. I am losing my mind.. No other family to help out.
Thanger, I fully understand the 24/7 thang. Someone told me the reason my mil follows me everywhere is that she feels comfortable with me around as if I am her security blanket. From what you have mention it sounds the same, sorry. I call my mil sometimes my shadow. Yes! It can get very irritating. As other have said, "care-giving is NOT for wussy!" So, keep coming back n go to the topic area if u have not yet called, How are you doing the caregiver" something to that line. & "Grossed out just caught mom brushing her hair with my toothbrush."
Kooski, I feel sometimes packing my own bags n never coming back. Does she Alzheimer or Dementia or just old age n stubbornness.? Not sure you can do anything if she is mentally able to make her own decision. However, I would suggest talking to a social worker n letting them know your concern for her own Safeness n see what they suggest. You still have a life too.
Bigkatie, Good for you for no-one should have to deal with this if it is causing more problems than helping. You can only do so much n you too have your life to live. I am so glad that u took those necessary steps n now can get back to living your own life with your family.
I have been going out of my wits with the mil for when something is wrong with them it seems the Alzheimer's gets worse. At least it seems like the new meds r working but slowly. Hopefully she will get back to her own meanness self.
I hope everyone has a good day today.
The both of you could check that area out n I would also see if they have any funds with their "Caregiver Time Out program." Their is a time waiting list so the sooner the better to get on it. I waited for about 3 -6 months n now I get a little help n take my mil to a church for 4hrs one day a week. I could take her for 4 days per week yet,t that would be like trying to pull her teeth. I appreciate the one day a week for 4hrs. If u can get her out the door n at a place a couple of times, who knows she may enjoy herself. You really need that break even if it is a few hrs. Good luck.
I had to read Paula 2024's message three times to make sure it wasn't me that typed it. I am a diy'er, a loner and 63.I am looking at some home care or home assistance possibilities and even looking into setting up some kind of time exchange group with other caregivers in the area to help each other out, but since we are at the stage where mom doesn't want to be more than 2 feet away from me 24/7, I am not sure it will work out for her. I have no words of wisdom to share, but here's to each of us for doing what we can for our loved ones for as long as we can.
One option would be to have a second paid caregiver. Can she afford that?
Going back to skilled nursing care is also an option. When two people or even more are needed for a specific care task, they are available. You would be her advocate, see that she gets good care, visit her often, and cheer her up, but not have responsibility for lifting, transferring, or toileting her.
Maybe with more therapy she would be able to come home with a single caregiver. Stay open to that possibility. But Parkinson's and dementia are both progressive diseases, and you can expect them to get worse.
What his Grandma's attitude about being in her home vs being in skilled care?
In counseling they will maybe to teach you to see that you cannot change your mother, you can only change how you deal with her. It's the simplest, yet hardest thing to understand. Good luck to you.
The way I cope with all the problems is to do my best to be here and now. Because that is really all I can do. Anything else is just a story in my head.
I can handle here and now, I can't handle fears and what-ifs. Thank you.
Jasmine, You can also go to other areas on the AD site here to put up post where other people may view your post. Areas like, 'How was your day,' or 'caught mom using my toothbrush.' Just dropping a few lines in those areas can allow other people that may have gone through similar situation that can offer some advice or just a friendly chat. btw, welcome to the board if I have not already had the chance.
Toni999, sorry that your mom had both AD n vascular dementia. U r so right about the Mother nature stuff n how it can be entertaining. I only have one hummy this year but its better than none n I luv digging in the dirt too. You r so lucky your hubby cooks everyday, wow! Mine only knows how to make spam sandwiches n I cannot stand spam, yuck!
Bookworm, Your post on here sometimes helps us n we need you here as well as you need us so don't go do anything crazy. I have felt the same way n was plotting mine as well n then thought who world would take care of the mil? My hubby, yeah right! It can get to you sometimes n I do take a small dose of prozac for a few years. We r only human n can only do so much. That is why if anyone can get some sort of Respite care break or a few hrs break away makes a huge difference. Just seeing other people outside was awesome to me n now with this site is really great on days that I cannot get out because of the mil. I am so glad u r still on the site n didn't go through for how would we keep us all in check n look at u now, you r giving advice when u can n that is awesome. Hell, all us caregivers r all awesome n I think everyone needs to take a few minuets n pat themself on the back. For other people have no clue.
Haroldine, welcome to this site n it is a great place to chat, vent, n education. My time is in the evening time n I guess because I have dealt with stuff all day n it just builds up. I must had forgot to go outside n get in my car with the music loud n just scream to get it off my chest. it helps. Also for those who r new at this caregiving with someone with AD or Dementia their is a great book that I call it my second bible n someone from online here had mention it to me. It really help me to understand about the disease or at least sometimes for I am only human. ; )
It's called, "The 36-Hours," by Nancy L. Mace & Peter V. Rabin.
I reccomend it to anyone new to caregiving. You can get it at a bookstore or sometimes u can get it free from your local Alz.org if they have any left over.
How do I keep from going crazy? I have learned from here to buy headphone sets when the mil is whispering cussing moods. I have learned that everything don't have to be perfectly in place or in order for it will be their for me another day. : ) Hope these little tips out someone out n everyone can get a good night rest.
I have posted on several threads/discussions. I read your thread but since I'm still struggling to keep my head up in the water - I didn't think it applies to me. So, I didn't post. Sorry...about that...but sometimes, I try to not remember THAT day cuz it was one very scary time for me. Take care!!!
I am an only child and have been caring for my mom for a year or so. She has Alzheimers and vascular dementia. Every day is a challenge for me.
I live through the internet and do a lot of gardening. I also have hummingbird feeders. You would be surprised at how much time you can spend just watching different aspects of nature. I am able to spend a lot of time entertaining myself being an only child. My husband is a jewel and makes dinner every day. Mom has good and bad days. With time you will be OK!
Hugs to you. Now we know what life was like in the old days! Tonio999
I just dont want anyone else to ever go through what I'm going through and when she said that she feels like shes loosing her mind I recall that feeling and wanted to fully encourage her to reach out on all levels to get the help that she needs.
When you hit the point its even harder to find help or people that care. I even tried making a post on this site to see if anyone has been through what I'm going through but only 3 people cared enough to reply. (and I thank them so VERY much for their replies!)
My point is, please do whatever you can to make things easier for yourself. I dont wish whats happened to me on anyone.