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My husband is showing signs of early dementia but will not acknowledge physical or mental changes. Will not discuss issues with his doctor and makes me look foolish if I mention anything during his appointments. There have been many changes over the last couple of years and seem to be getting more pronounced. I try to make a note when I notice something significant. Yesterday he told me that something is going on with his eyes, that sometimes he can’t see color. He said images were dim, more like black and white. When I asked him later he fluffed it off and wouldn’t discuss.

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Agreed. The doctor can be tipped off in many ways but be aware that even though you ask the doctor not to tell the patient, he might. You need to make sure that you as spouse are allowed to receive the reports and communicate with doctor thru patient portal. That way doctor is more likely not to mention to your husband. However, at the point where your husband is now, so what? He needs help.
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I will second everything that BarbBrooklyn said below. When my husband started showing signs of mental decline, several days before each of his appointments with his neurologist I would send his Dr. a message via the patient portal stating clearly exactly what was going on with my husband so he knew in advance and could be prepared.
And so when my husband would go in and his neurologist would ask him how things were going and my husband would reply "fine," the Dr. would know better and be able to address the issues at hand. It worked well every time.
Contact his doctor(s) any way you can to let them know what's going on, as someone has to be looking out for your husband since he won't.
Wishing you the best.
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My husband's doctor has a patient portal and an email address. When I have a concern, I send the doc an email.

Fax or snail mail also work. Make your communications concise and bulletin, i.e., "I am very concerned that John is reporting loss of color vision and doesn't seem to think he should see anyone about that."

I would send a fax or email before each appointment you go to so that the doc is alerted in advance about your concerns.
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