Hoping to get some help from others. My mom has been in assisted living for 4 years and is about to run out of money. I really want to keep her at her current place instead of moving her to a nursing home which will be a death sentence for her. My out of pocket cost would be $2,900/month which means dipping into my savings and basically working to pay for her care while my husband and I continue to work and not retire until she passes. My question is if I claim her as a dependent can the expense be deducted from our taxes? Looking at about 35K/year. She only gets 10.5K in social security which would all be spent for her care as well. Trying to do the right thing for her. She's 81 and not in great health but has been in the same place health wise since her early 70's. I'm desperately trying to find an upside to this situation. I have no other financial help so it all rests on me.
Also, she could live a very long, long time. My dad is heading to 100 this year. Making plans to sell our home, retire closer to our children, and enjoy life has been on hold "until Daddy dies". I've come to realize he is literally going to live forever as he has only a few minor medical problems with the exception of mild dementia and blindness.
You are correct that there is no upside in this, but for you to sacrifice all three of you to it is more than a downside, it is a disaster for your future. Please don't do this. Mom will go on Medicaid. I hope that the place that accepts her is a good one and she is relatively happy there, but you MUST not fund this to your own expense.
I will admit that I used to think that, based on statistics. Many elders pass away shortly after admission to a NH, but that's because they are ill.
My mom, post stroke, CHF and post hip fracture repair surgery was admitted to a NH that accepts Medicaid in September 2013. I thought "well, that's it for mom" and started thinking about her funeral.
Mom died in late August 2017. She got excellent care in the NH. She lived for nearly 4 years there.
Please, do not use your own money. You and your husband deserve to retire on time with money put aside for your care when needed. There are nice LTC facilities. Actually, I think my Mom got better care in the NH than her AL. In my State, u start the Medicaid application about 90 days before you run out of money. This gives u time to spend down her assets, get them paperwork needed and place her.