Dad had heart attack, quadruple bypass, stroke in 12/2015. I've been living with mom for three months. Went home for ten days while she was in hospital with flu. My husband is disabled. His adult mentally challenged son lives with us. I am beyond exhaustion and have fibromyalgia and chronic neck and back pain.
Unfortunately, in some jurisdictions, you have to walk away in order for your elder to get help. I think I'd consider taking mom to the ER tomorrow and leaving her. I know that sounds awful. But sometimes your have to save yourself first.
I am, I take meds for the anxiety and depression I have had since my husband had quintuple bypass, 35 days in ICU because of "boop". That was in 2010. In 2011 my 85 yr . old mom came to live with us . I'm the daughter that cares. My only sibling disappeared from the picture in 2010. We have no idea what ever happened to her. Zero. I am taking care of mom now 90.5 and husband now 72. I am 54. I am in need of medical care, and now, the 2 persons I have looked up to for decades are under MY care. You need help with your own health so that you won't break down. What do you think?
You need to take care of yourself *first*. Get medical care for yourself and then you can go about helping your husband and other family out.