I'm noticing that my mother is getting more and more unsteady. I always have to hold her hand whenever we walk anywhere. Yesterday as we were coming out of the elevator, she just stood against the back railing and was waiting for me to grab her hand. She usually starts to move towards me since I go out first then reach for her hand. Well, as a result, the elevator door started to close and hit her on the arm. She looked at me like it was my fault. Same thing when I'm in her apartment, she acts like she can't walk alone from the living room to the kitchen, which is about 8 feet, yet she must do it on her own when I'm not there. I feel she acts more like a child when I'm around, but at the same time, I try to explain to her that if she fell, she might not be able to live alone anymore. She has a few issues going on; pain in her knee, mild Parkinson's Disease, and swollen ankles. We are gong to the cardiologist tomorrow, so maybe that can be remedied, but I had to fight her tooth and nail to get her to go. Ugh!
I had to use an "armrest" type walker after that, and I complained about it to a dear friend who generously took me shopping weekly. She kindly told me that by others noticing my walker, they were reminded to be careful near me.
I never forgot her sensible answer, perhaps it would help to explain it that way to elders who don't want to bother with a 'clumsy' walking aid.
She lived on her own until she was over 95 years old. One of the ways that she was able to be so self-sufficient was that she told me that she knew that she had to give up a little independence in order to remain independent.
She was the one who told me that she needed to use a cane. A few years later she told me that she needed to use a walker. Somewhere along the way she set set up getting help through a local organization that provided light housekeeping and help with her showers. She was a wise woman - I hope some of her wisdom filtered down to me.
Her sister worked from the angle that the walker was a tool, same as something you’d use to cook with, or a tool from the toolbox used to repair things. No emotion involved, no shame, it’s simply a tool, there for my mother to use.
I worked from the angle of independence: my mother and I were visiting the cemetery to put flowers on my father’s grave, and she spied a man down a long, rather uneven walkway that she wanted to talk to. I told her, “Go ahead, and I’ll put the flower things in the car,” turned my back on her, and let her walk that distance entirely on her own, talk to the man as long as she wanted, and then come back. Was I nervous? Oh, yes … but when she got back I made the point that she was able to go off on her own like that … with no one chasing her or holding her up or walking next to her … because she used the walker. This “experiential” sort of convincing actually seemed to sink in. After 24/7 home care and then MC, over a year in which she was never left alone, she got to walk alone, outdoors, by herself, and do something that SHE wanted to do, because of the walker.
Both of these approaches were positive, as several posters in this thread suggested, rather than emphasizing the negative of “you may fall and end up in the hospital.”
(The facility also eventually took away her cane … nothing comes easy.)
Now, she’s 95 and deeper in dementia, and sometimes needs to be reminded to use the walker. One of the first things I did when I moved her to a much larger memory care facility near me was to macramé a bright red strip hanging from the middle of the front bar of her walker, for immediate identification purposes. It’s made of red yarn and is about a foot long and an inch and a half wide, and is knotted right onto the walker. (Crocheted or knitted would have the same effect.) She still doesn’t like the walker – calls it “that thing” rather than “a walker” – but I have quite often seen her touching the red tag affectionately, like it’s a friend. It’s the thing that seems to catch her attention and remind her to use the walker. Someone suggested decorating the walker, so I think this is along the same idea – but make whatever it is very hard to remove.