My dear sweet 86 year old mother with Alzheimer's has been in hospice now for 7days 6 nights. I have been here every day and night and slept here every night, to be with her every moment that her heart is still beating. It is torture to watch her decline like this, no food or water for a week now. I have read what I can tolerate about how and when loved ones transition, and I have told my mom how much we all love her and it's ok to leave and go with God and the angels. But now I am getting angry at God for allowing this to linger on. Why won't he take her to heaven and stop this anguish? Hospice repositions her every 4 or 5 hours and gives pain medicine prior, but she still moans and cringes. How do I cope with this lingering pain of watching her face away? I pray, read the psalms and proverbs in the bible, hold her hand and talk to her, it's just so hard. Your wisdom and thoughts on this would be helpful and appreciated.
You have to take care of you. Your love for her is not something physical that will die. Its there and she feels it even if she can't express it to you. So go for that walk, take care of yourself and just be at peace. I know its hard to do but its for the best.
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