Dad blasts the TV volume. How to cope?
Hi all, I’m visiting my parents for the week and the good news is, my dad FINALLY got a hearing aid! (Thank you VA). The bad news is, he’s not used to being able to hear & he’s not wearing it much. Mom was cutting a watermelon the other day and he had his hearing aids in and the sound set him off and he yelled at her that it sounded like she was killing someone! He hasn’t hardly wore the hearing aids since I got here Saturday. Anyway the problem is, he sits and watches TV all day long until almost midnight and by dinner time he has it blasting! Like movie theater volume maybe higher. Last night mom, the kids & I were in her den and dad was as usual watching a TV in the living room and every few minutes we were startled by the sounds of machine guns and bombs going off! He keeps the TV so loud at night and it rattles moms nerves! And the rest of us were just exhausted and ready for bed by 10:30 but there was no way we could sleep with the TV blasting. His hearing has been bad since I was in my early teens and you just cannot ask him to turn the TV down! When I was a moody 12 year old going through puberty he sent me to bed early one night because of my attitude and I asked him to turn the blasting TV down and he started screaming at me & what did I do? Ran away until mom got off work an hour later LOL! If you say anything about how loud the TV is, He gets very angry and yells “it’s not that loud” so no one dares to ask him to turn it down. When mom complained about the watermelon incident, I told her to just remember that he’s not used to being able to hear anything (he wasn’t deaf before, but he couldn’t hear small sounds like cutting fruit or walking about the house) and he has to get used to being able to hear again. But what we can do about the blasting TV at night? The kids and I can suck it up while we are here but my mom is very unhappy. I forgot to mention they recently got a new TV and it wasn’t that bad with the old TV, i mean it was bad but this new TV is SO LOUD! I feel horrible for my mom, I don’t know how to address the issue with my dad without setting him off. I am already annoyed with him because he finds fault with everything my 6 year old son does! It’s like being a kids again, it’s history repeating itself, he was the same way with my brother! Constantly chastising him for being a kid!
Also, the brain networks that process sound will have got rusty as his hearing diminished and they have to be reset. It takes time and patience, and I have yet to learn of an elder who found this any fun at all.
But it's worth it! You could call your father's audiologist and ask if they have any kind of guidelines they could give you. If not, try the manufacturer. If they can't help: this is only from memory, but my mother's schedule started from putting them in first thing in the morning as part of the washing/dressing routine, wearing them for one hour for the first week, two hours the next week, and then gradually increasing according to taste and comfort. But *consistency* is the thing.
Also conscious listening: focusing on a particular sound you want to hear - a piece of music, an audio book, birdsong, whatever - and using the hearing aid to listen to it without other distractions like conversation or ambient noise. You're exercising your brain's hearing function, is the thing.
So it's treating it like a purposeful project that seems to be the key. Work on it! - it will be worth it... eventually :/
The manufacturer is Phonak.
these are new to the VA. I spoke with the audiologist about my needs and wants. These meet nearly everything. I got two accessories with them. One is a neck loop contraption that allows me to increase the TV volume without turning up the TV. This cam with a charging station and this thing will hook up to the TV to allow wireless volume for my aids. I love it. I can mute the TV and still hear what is being said. and adjust the volume to my aids without increasing the normal TV volume.
The neck loop is also paired to my cell phone and I can finally use my cell phone by bluetooth, even while driving.
Look for phonak-us.com. You will have to speak with the VA audiologist about getting these if you think they could help.
Phonak has a few other things for the hearing impaired.
I know these are not cheap but if you can get them, they are great. The VA paid for mine but I would have to pay any of the other accessories.
Also the aids have a second programmable button for other things that I have no idea what else can be programmed into the aids.
I suggest you look into all of the suggestions of the others here and evaluate everything. There are other companies that sell hearing accessories, some have been mentioned here.
If all else fails you might try getting your own hearing protection like ear muffs. He might get the idea if every one is wearing them around him.
As you've found out waiting too long to get hearing aids creates a more difficult period of adjustment, after living in a silent world the common clicks, hums and buzzes that we have learned to ignore can be overwhelming. The problem with him taking the HAs out is that he will never adjust successfully that way, he needs to be motivated enough to actually wear them.