My son is getting married out of the country. The wedding has been planned for more than a year. We are supposed to leave in a couple of days. However, my 94 year old father fell last night and is having hip replacement surgery. He has been the caregiver for my mother, 94, who has dementia. They live in the middle of no where a day's drive away from me and 14 hours away from my only sibling, a brother. It is clear that they will need 24 hour care at home or in a facility. I have great guilt for wanting to go to my son's wedding. I feel if I don't go I will let me son down. I feel I am letting my parent's down for not being there. My brother left this morning and can be there all this week and next. I plan to go, using my remaining time off from work, when we return. I did speak with Dad and he insists we should go to the wedding. I am so torn. Their part-time household help is able to stay with my mom around the clock but Dad was complaining about paying her. Keep in mind my dad is frugal but has plenty of cash to hire people. What do I do?
ps. Where did you find your three wonderful women?
Go to the wedding!! Enjoy it. Give your son and new daughter-in-law your full attention. I'll bet they don't get that often, since you are caregiving.
It is possible that Dad will be released to a rehab center, and only Mom will need the extra care at home.
Dad may fuss about the extra cost. Fussing will give him something to do. :) If you think it would help, suggest that he consider enabling you to go as a wedding present to his grandson.
Good luck, don't miss this wonderful opportunity, I'm sure all is in good hands!