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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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I would not pay that comment any attention. Obviously it is no ones fault, unless you push him over.
Can you write notes to help with the communication?
It never ceased to amaze me what parents will say to manipulate their adult children. Maybe you can say, it might no be your fault, but you will be paying the consequences if you do fall dad. A nice rolator (sp?) can be purchased for less than $100, the doctor can order therapy to have it fitted for optimal results.
As affirmed by the comments below, it is not your fault if he falls, but if you are in a position to make his home safer, then you should act. Ignore his insults and accusations as he may no longer really understand what his words are doing to you.
Who is the other person living with him, his spouse? How old is this person and what condition are they in? Has anyone actually seen him fall? Sometimes elderly LOs don't know what they lived vs what they imagined. My aunt with dementia has accused many family members of hideous things that we all know are untrue. It's painful at first, but sadly you do get better at ignoring it.
There are many ways to senior-ize a home to make it safer and reduce fall risks if this hasn't already been done. Would he use a cane or walker? Sometimes bringing one into the home so they can demo it (and leaving it there) may change their mind,
Ditto to a comment below about hearing vs comprehension. I've been on a phone call with my 90-yr old mom having a perfectly audible conversation and all of a sudden she'll get stuck on a word. I'd yell into the phone thinking she didn't hear it. Screaming in the phone. She won't recognize it even if I spell it for her. Not a long word, either, a simple one.
Can you take him to get his hearing assessed? Handling hearing aids at that age might be too tricky and not worth the aggravation or cost for either of you.
It IS your problem if Dad falls down, but it's not your fault. Some people need others to blame for EVERYTHING. My mother has always had 'trouble' communicating her thoughts, even before she was diagnosed with dementia. She likes to have people wheedle information out of her, begging her for clues and information. I'll call and know darn well something is wrong because of the way she sounds, ask her what's happening, and she'll say 'Nothing'. Or, she'll say "I don't know, I just feel blah." When Dad was alive, I'd have to get HIM on the phone and ask him what was wrong with mother. Nowadays, she lives in Memory Care (and Assisted Living before MC), so I can call over there to see what's going on. It's an extremely frustrating situation for sure, and I can empathize with you. Perhaps if you provide more details about your dad we can give you some appropriate advice. Does he live alone at home? With you? In assisted living?
Your profile says that your your LO has dementia. I'd take into account that he may have trouble understanding and processing language. Maybe, he needs more assistance and it's his way of asking for it. It's difficult to prevent falls. I might ask for an assessment to see what he's really able to do and even ask for help making the home more safe, with regard to grab bars, ramps, etc.
No dementia issues. Has terrible hearing issues Will not ge hearing aid. The brain does suffer with not understanding because he cant hear. There is major communication issues. I can not talk with him over phone anymore He never calls anyone. He has no diseases except blood pressure being high
Well, it WONT be your fault if he falls down. This seems like a guilt/manipulation tactic, but need a little more information as to what else is going on. Can you clarify the entire situation? There are many very smart folks who have experienced many elder issues on this forum, they can help if you will clarify. Ie is he bed bound but tries to walk? Diseases? Etc.... thanks..
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Can you write notes to help with the communication?
It never ceased to amaze me what parents will say to manipulate their adult children. Maybe you can say, it might no be your fault, but you will be paying the consequences if you do fall dad. A nice rolator (sp?) can be purchased for less than $100, the doctor can order therapy to have it fitted for optimal results.
Best of luck, he sounds like a pickle.
Who is the other person living with him, his spouse? How old is this person and what condition are they in? Has anyone actually seen him fall? Sometimes elderly LOs don't know what they lived vs what they imagined. My aunt with dementia has accused many family members of hideous things that we all know are untrue. It's painful at first, but sadly you do get better at ignoring it.
There are many ways to senior-ize a home to make it safer and reduce fall risks if this hasn't already been done. Would he use a cane or walker? Sometimes bringing one into the home so they can demo it (and leaving it there) may change their mind,
Ditto to a comment below about hearing vs comprehension. I've been on a phone call with my 90-yr old mom having a perfectly audible conversation and all of a sudden she'll get stuck on a word. I'd yell into the phone thinking she didn't hear it. Screaming in the phone. She won't recognize it even if I spell it for her. Not a long word, either, a simple one.
Can you take him to get his hearing assessed? Handling hearing aids at that age might be too tricky and not worth the aggravation or cost for either of you.
Perhaps if you provide more details about your dad we can give you some appropriate advice. Does he live alone at home? With you? In assisted living?
. Has balance issues. And had fallen down before.
Will not ge hearing aid. The brain does suffer with not understanding because he cant hear. There is major communication issues. I can not talk with him over phone anymore
He never calls anyone. He has no diseases except blood pressure being high
Ie is he bed bound but tries to walk? Diseases? Etc.... thanks..