My stepmom is alzheimer's, my dad denies her need for special attention and continues to get upset with her when she does things that alzheimers patients do, like putting shoes on wrong feet, etc. How do I make him understand, she is not normal anymore and needs to be handled gently with tender loving care?
Aside from this persistent denial, is your father otherwise of sound mind?
They went so far as to remove my FIL from his SNF months after the special meeting and dumped him at home on MIL. (They felt she should be taking care of him)
On the Houston news last year an elderly couple had been on their way to a family birthday party (bringing the cake) and ended up in Florida. If you are unfamiliar with the area, they traveled through Louisiana (another state) to get to Florida. After they were found on the news their daughters were interviewed. One daughter said "My dad has dementia". The other daughter became angry and said "There is nothing wrong with my dad!"
See it happens all the time. Some see it, some don't want to see it.