My dad is doing well. He is itching to move out of the facility and into the working world. He wants all the "right" things. A modest apartment, a humble job, and things to fill his day.
Heres the catch. With his Wernicke's Korsakoff syndrome, the treatment is maintaining a good diet and taking supplements regularly and abstain from alcohol. I don't trust him to do these things. He's shown in the past to let much slide when life gets stressful.
So far my way of letting him follow his goals while not placing any personal responsibility on myself has been to support him being independent while in the NH. I told him if he wants to be in independent, that's amazing but he needs to figure this out himself. It's going to be hard and stressful, but I believe it's important. If I just do everything (find apartment, set it up, set up meals on wheels, manage his medications) he won't learn anything and it might be detrimental to him when I get back to my own life.
This sounds so harsh but I don't know what else to do!! I cant juggle my life and his anymore. I did so much for my parents the past two years and I just don't have it in me anymore. I just don't. It terrifies me to my core that the cycle may not be over and that the last two years never really ended.
If he can't even make a list of things he needs to do to begin the process of moving into the community, then how can I expect him to function without daily or weekly supervision from me? I can't always be there for him. I'm going to be 23 soon and I have much I need to do in the coming years.
I have called a couple social workers to pick their brain and waiting for calls back.
If this was his first stint in a facility, I'd be way more eager. But the odds of failure feel so high to me that I just can't get myself to help him. And I hate that feeling.
Best wishes for you and your dad.
If I were you, I'd give him 100% of the task of getting himself out of there. When he has "failure to launch" it won't be your fault and maybe he'll see he needs to adjust his concept of reality. You're not being harsh. Don't feel guilty about any of it.