I posted earlier about taking my dad (mild dementia) to a geriatric doctor. They found his heart rate to be extremely slow.. under 40 and made an appointment with a cardiologist which we went to today. He said he needed a pacemaker or he would possibly go into cardiac arrest within the next couple of weeks. We made an appointment for him tomorrow to get a pacemaker.
He has decided that he doesn't want it ..and said he is ready to go. I do understand his decision. His quality of life is still pretty good tho and he would feel much better with his pacemaker as he would have more energy..etc. ..but i do understand that he may not want to continue with dementia.
I'ts hard.. and I'm really sad... Basically he is going to most likely pass away in a few weeks..or maybe months of cardiac arrest.. i can't stop crying.
I'm really not sure he undertands the magnitude of it.. i hope he does..
I left for a few minutes and my mom said he asked about the surgery like he was maybe reconsidering...but that is to be expected with his dementia. He didnt say anything after i got home tho. I cant hardly be around him without crying..i dont know how mom does it.
Please tell me we are doing the right thing...i feel so sad.
I understand how hard this must be fore you! Often the anesthesia used for surgery has extremely negative effects on cognition. Following the surgery you would see a definite progression in the dementia that may or may not reverse after a few weeks. Respect your dad's decision and be there for him. Call in hospice to help you through this. I know that if it were me, I would make the same decision your dad has.
This was devastating to hear; but the doctor told my father the situation and he understood. Unfortunately, he did not last long after this prognosis; but passed away shortly after from renal failure. We just took it one day at a time and truly treasured any time I had left with him; making the most of it knowing the days were numbered. I feel he understood the gravity of the situation and was accepting of it; as your father appears to be. You can try talking to him again to make sure he understands. Perhaps he will change his mind, or perhaps not. They know themselves when they just don't want to take any measures any longer. As difficult as it is for us to accept; we need to go along with any decisions they want. They are the ones facing the surgery and any other complications as well. Hugs across the miles. Take care.
I wouldn't want that for myself. It's probably harder on you that it is on him. It's tough on all of you...but I think you have to go along with what he wants in this case. {{Hugs}}