He has POA#2, my mentally unstable step-sister, and POA#3 my step-brother who lives 6 hours away. My brother and I, the bio kids, are in complete agreement with my dad's care as POA #1 has been handling things. We have great concern if #2 becomes POA, while POA #1 is in the hospital for a week. #2 can change access, care, etc.
I live 1000 miles away, my brother lives nearby my dad. Property has recently been transferred to me and my brother as per my dad's wishes. I am more concerned with his care and the fact that even though he doesn't want any type of life support, POA#2 is determined to prolong his life and, therefore, misery any way she can. She doesn't see the situation for what it is-0% quality of life, and no chance for recovery.
Is there anything I can do to prevent POA#2 from making changes during POA#1's incapacitation?
POA#2 could certainly make financial changes but I would think that POA#1 is only out of the loop as long as she is under anesthesia (just like the President). They only lose their authority during the time of the surgery. Even if POA#1 is in the hospital POA#2 should not be able to make any financial changes.
I think the Health Care proxy is the POA too, then my brother, then me. This assumes the Health Care proxy is different from POA#2?? That's been the challenge you see. POA#2 has been asked to make health decisions by doctors and nurses because she is present constantly. We had to straighten everyone out as to who to get approval from, which is POA#1. POA#2 gets herself in there, befriending the dr.'s and nurses, asking for care and treatments, etc., as much and in any way she can get away with it. She has a obsessive need to be in control of his well being at all times. She's a bull dog alpha-type who can turn on the charm when she wants to get something done.
Look out when she doesn't get her way, and worse, POA#1 is very intimidated by her. POA#2 threatens to sue us for elder abuse when we disagree about my dad having extra caregivers and PT, that is not only painful to him, but not at all helpful.
And get this, we are also paying two caregivers to be there 12 hours a day! They are being paid out of his estate that will go to me and my brother if there's anything left. We believe she, POA#2, would like nothing more to liquidate any money coming our way. What a crazy mess....
I'd appreciate any and all suggestions to the above. I wish I was down there-I'm not intimidated by POA#2, and there would be a lot more sensibility about the whole thing. I have a family to take care of at home, and I get down there as much as I can. I'll be there for the week during POA#1's surgery, just to keep an eye on things.
My dad would be beside himself if he knew what his step kids were up too.....
Does the primary POA stop being POA? Can't they talk to her except when she's actually on anaesthesia?