My 90 year old father with dementia no longer wants to live and has argued with caregivers about eating. When I ask him what’s wrong, he says, “I’m just waiting to go. I’m not interested in this program. All of my relatives are already gone, etc.” He sits in silence a lot of the time and must be roused to get out of bed. He doesn’t seem to enjoy anything any more and really gets blue in the winter months! Any suggestions or thoughts?
What was your first job? What was your boss like? Where did you meet your wife? Where was your first home as a couple? Did you move often? What advice would you give to young people about marriage? Do you remember when Pearl Harbor was bombed? What Presidents do you remember best? What job did you enjoy most in your life (or dislike most) and why? How would you advise a person following your line of work? What advice would you give to parents in today's world? Where were you the day Kennedy was assassinated? Where were you when men first landed on the moon? What do you think about the space program? Its future? Where did you learn to use computers (if you did).
There is no end of questions to ask. Let him re-live for you what has been important to him. That's where his interests lie. Then the only thing you need to do is listen. You may have already heard his stories and opinions, but he won't mind repeating (if you can be patient enough to hear them again). There is nothing people enjoy more than talking about themselves. That doesn't change with age.
Several others have mentioned reminiscing. That's a good idea. Talk to him about his past. Talk about his childhood, how he met your mother, page thru albums, if you have some, make your talks about him.
yup one doctor had it right... the right to die.... dr. K?
anyway, hone his wishes... keep him comfortable. My LO isn't moved out of her bed anymore. Everytime you touch her, it hurts... "ouch".. I barely put a finger on her knee. :(
At this point, I don't ask the caretakers to move her... it hurts her.. physically? not sure... but her first response is --- ouch... stop that.... so, it's okay... don't move her any more than is necessary...keep her clean, fed, and clean...
ever since she got the vaccine.. she is asleep every time I see her... she is asleep.. I don't want to wake her... I touch her knee when she is asleep... it doesn't hurt...
only when she is awake and she sees me touch her knee, it hurts :(