My 90 year old father with dementia no longer wants to live and has argued with caregivers about eating. When I ask him what’s wrong, he says, “I’m just waiting to go. I’m not interested in this program. All of my relatives are already gone, etc.” He sits in silence a lot of the time and must be roused to get out of bed. He doesn’t seem to enjoy anything any more and really gets blue in the winter months! Any suggestions or thoughts?
As alvadear said, truth... make it about the truth.. tell him, you understand, play music, give him his favorite treats and the caretakers... it is okay.
give him his party with all the hoopla.... it is okay..
these bodies are not made to last for ever... so.... if you find something he enjoys... let him enjoy it... food, treats, music? movies etc... bring em on!
So my advice, let him tell you. Tell him you understand he is exhausted. That you aren't ready to lose him, but that you will love, remember, pass on anything you learned.
Your Dad is ready. Please, and with all my heart, acknowledge that. It is hard to understand, but you will get there, and now, pushing 79, I understand how close it is. We get tired. We are ready. Please be happy about that for us. And I must tell you, my Dad will never be gone from me, nor yours from you, but what a grown up gift you will give him by sitting and saying TRUTH to him now, and listening to his own truth.