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oh, and since you do have round the clock care, hire a service to do the errands and the groceries. I just did that and it gave me huge freedom. Or set up PeaPod for groceries delivery. Then go back to work.

xoxoxo!
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If you have round the clock care already in his home, stay with that for now. In the meantime, research the nursing homes in his area, quickly. GO see them and get him "on the list." That's number one. The nursing homes will want some money . After you've done the research, you'll know how much it costs (varies in different parts of the country -- (we pay a whopping $14k a month! but only for two months). If they have a bed open and you're ok with the place, take it. Also solicit help from your local social services department. It comes down to money. If you can afford to keep him in his home with help, do that. We ran out of money so Dad ended up staying the NH after a short term rehab from which he never recovered. It sucks but that's the way it goes. YOU need to get on with your life. There are many of us out here that have devastated our own lives with care giving. I'm on the edge but coming around because I decided my life and my own family HAS to number one, not my Mom and Dad. They had their time. And I too, have useless, selfish siblings that haven't seen their parents in years. Take care of yourself first becasue no one else can do that for you. If you have any guilt, you'll get over it.

Now - if he does go into a home, you'll need to apply for Medicaid and that is an exhausting process, but has to be done and you'll be glad when it's over. There's a good thread on here about everything you need to think about including the 5-year look back. Search out. Good luck and stay on this site. It could save you. It saved me.

- SS
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It sounds like he may need a nursing home instead of AL-if he stays at home with around the clock care maybe if he had a live in it would be cheaper and when his money runs out he would be able to get medicaid and then be placed -would he want to stay in his home and new jobs are so hard to get theses days so you might want to keep the one you have-I am not much help just able to give you one optionand I hope others will be of more help.
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