Dad with moderate dementia wants ice cream and cookies over and over all day. Doesn't remember an hour ago he had it just an . He can't be distracted and just keeps on and on until he gets it. Even if there isn't any, he still keeps asking, sometimes demanding. He is already overweight and adding lbs. An eldercare specialist told us to let him have whatever he wants. Does that sound reasonable? Not only is the grocery bill getting more and more costly, and can't be good for him, but Mom can't find clothes to fit him anymore. Any ideas?
Mother can and does eat more nutritional foods, usually chicken or beefsteak, but half the time she only eats three bites of whatever and leaves the rest, with "Oh, I'm not hungry". What makes it more frustrating is that she's always on me with, "We need to eat more vegetables/fruits!" even as she doesn't eat them herself.
Her doctor told me that right now she just needs calories, so I go along with this, but it is frustrating.
If your dad's doctor says it's okay for him to have sweets maybe you can ration it out over the day. Is there anything simple and filling he could have, or some kind of sugarless cookie? At least he's eating.
I would tend to let Dad have whatever he wants. He is not a five-year-old with stringent nutritional needs. The goal is the keep him happy and comfortable, not to ensure his health and his growth. I like Moxie's idea of portion control, for the sake of avoiding weight gain. But dementia does what it will with metabolism and persons with dementia often gain or lose weight out of proportion to their increase or decrease in intake.
Does dad also eat some higher-nutrition foods at meal times? Is he willing to eat chicken and mashed potatoes? A burger and fries occasionally? A slice of pizza?
How old is Dad? How long has he had dementia?
Do your best to keep Dad happy. At least that is what I'd do.