I'm the only child and my dad lives with my mom 15 minutes away. I've been handling his many medical issues including COPD diagnosis after one of his more recent strokes three years ago. He suffered a MAC infection along with the COPD and had just gotten over that after 18 months of fighting it. They told him he needed to quit smoking once and for all. He wants to quit but after smoking from age 12 up (he is now 70) it's been hard. They recommended the patch and lozenges, but soon after recommended he switch to Chantix. He stopped the patch abruptly without advising me and began to suffer stomach issues including nausea and minor vomiting. He had mood swings and absolutely no energy or appetite for four days. They recommended he get on Chantix right away and the appetite loss got even worse as the days went on. Now, he's sitting in a recliner - and sleeping there too as a result of the COPD - and has not eaten barely anything in three weeks. He eats the occasional slice of watermelon, slice of toast and sip of soup. He drank Gatorade during this time which is atypical of him, but stopped two days ago. He absolutely refuses to drink Ensure or Boost as he's tried it before and hates it. He did stop the Chantix two weeks ago at the advice of his pulmonologist. But the appetite hasn't come back at all. He has occasional cravings for food he sees on TV. My mom goes out and gets it for him, but when she brings it home he says he can't eat it and just to put it in the fridge. I asked him what would happen if he were to try and force himself to eat and he says, "I just can't. So I dont." When I talk to him and even cry sometimes I tell him he NEEDS to go to the doctor, and he brushes it off with sayings like, "Well... have a good evening." If we mention the hospital he says he'll refuse to go. Also, his lips are dry and cracked and bleeding the past couple days. My mom got him campho phenique but he won't use it as he says it smells too bad. He refuses to use vasoline as well. She just got him Blistex Ultra Rich Hydration SPF15. We're hoping this helps! He says how is he supposed to eat even if he wanted to with his lips so painful like this. This is killing me inside! I feel like we're not doing enough. Please, ANY suggestions are appreciated!
If your Dad cannot get out of the recliner, how is he using the toilet, or is he in Depends or something? Even then, it would be very difficult for him to be thoroughly clean down there., making any possible sore down there to become infected.
I'm so sorry this has become such a nightmare for you all. I hope he gets help ASAP! Take care!
Did the doctor probe for a reason behind his lack of appetite or just prescribe the appetite stimulant? I'd be concerned there is something else going on, I'm glad they are prepared to call 911 if he doesn't get any relief soon.
Has he had a bowel movement recently? Could he have an impaction? If there is any doubt DO NOT give laxatives.
Also, should I be posting this in another section since it is unrelated to his lungs?
EMS could be called, and he might be admitted to a hospital, but I'm not sure what other issues he has that would contribute to enough of a stay to get in rehab. And I suspect your father would resist that.
You might be able to get EMS to take your father to Urgent Care, but someone would have to take him home. So that's not necessarily a good option. (I'm just trying to think of what those options are and whether or not they're workable.)
One of your father's doctors might be able to script for a visiting physician to come out, DX, and write a script for PT, which is definitely what he needs. You might be able to find a DME supplier that has one of those bike pedalers; they're comparable to the pedal configuration of a bike, but are free standing, can be put on a table or floor and the arms and legs exercised.
I think those kinds of strengtheners are relatively safe b/c no standing is necessary. My father's used one for years to strengthen his legs.
In the meantime, you might want to look into chairs with lift mechanisms. I believe the chair can be elevated to the point that the individual can stand up, w/o thrusting or hurling himself.
No pain other than a few bed sores? He needs to be seen by someone who can Dx these, stage them, and give him proper cream. Sitting on a pillow might help, but medical cream/treatment is needed before they get worse. In fact, this might contribute to a DX that would allow him to be in a hospital for 3 days to get qualified for rehab. Does he realize how serious pressure ulcers can be?
Rereading this thread from the beginning, I don't say this to be cruel but I think your father is his own worse enemy. He's refusing to cooperate, to get treatment, and you and your mother are trying to compensate.
Maybe it WOULD be good for EMS to come, take him to a hospital, and give him some frank advice that if he doesn't respect his body and care for it, his issues are going to get a LOT worse.
There's only so much you can do to compensate for an uncooperative patient; many of us have "been there, done that." Don't blame yourself; you and your mother are dealing with someone who isn't working with you.
I'm sure others have had to have a "come to reality" talk with their parents to get them to cooperate and take care of themselves. Again, I'm not trying to be cruel, but there's only so much you can do when a parent won't work with you.
Maybe your Amish neighbor can offer some down to earth religious advice to spur your father to action.
I wish you luck; I know this is a difficult situation and that you're probably worrying 24/7 about your father's health.
Your mother might try to get a job at places that either cater to seniors or have reputations of being supportive of seniors. She might ask the local Senior Center if there are any openings there, or if they know of any. Actually, getting out of the house would probably be good for her.
He's lost so much muscle mass that he can't get out of his chair. A stronger bigger Amish neighbor stopped by - a buddy of his - and he tried to pull my dad out of his recliner. He couldn't. So yeah... that says something. Now, my dad WANTS to get out of his chair, but I'm thinking maybe he needs some type of in-home physical therapy? My dad is 70, my mom is 68. Her unemployment is just about to end and sadly with all of their bills, she needs to go back to work and is unable to retire. She's trying to get a job but at her age it's extremely difficult. When she starts being gone during the day, who will care for my father? He will definitely refuse going to a home, and I don't want to send him to one. He just wants to put on muscle and regain strength to regain his mobility. Does anyone have suggestions? I'm not sure if insurance would cover hospice coming in or if he would even qualify for in-home physical therapy or if he needs more than that? He said he's in no real pain other than a few bed sores, which he is now sitting on a pillow to try and help with. He really wants out of his recliner. Friends... now's the time. If you have any advice, I'm open to it.
Call 911. Have the EMTs evaluate and take them aside, beg them to convince your dad to get checked out at the ER.