When wife and I got married, she graciously let us live with her while we saved for a place of our own. about 2 years ago she decides she can no longer afford the upkeep and mortgage payment, so she offers us the house. After carefully thinking about it, we humbly take the offer. the paperwork is finalized, and it is officially our home. She is 70, so it is decorated in the "old lady" style. Now that we plan to decorate it our way, improve certain areas, she gets in the way and makes it known that she is not happy. Makes us feel so uncomfortable making any changes or decorating a certain way. We feel like we are renting even though we are paying all the bills. She thrives on having control of situations and people. But if she was gonna be this way, she should have told us this from the beginning, and we never would have accepted to take over the house. Feeling ripped off. How do we deal with this?
Acceptance will help you. Some things just cannot be changed.
IMOP.
Sendme2help- My wife is pretty much frustrated as well. I have to be gently with my wife on this issue since I know first hand, that being in the middle can be stressful. But I have brought up the advise from this thread and she agreed to give it a try.
We have decided to go ahead and install the new hardwood flooring. The tile in the living room is already cracking, and since its old fashioned tile, there is nothing comparable to replace it. We brought home samples last night (only samples that we like) and asked her which ones she liked best. She seemed a bit enthusiastic that we actually asked her, So hopefully thats a step in the right direction.
Teach her a lesson, and put her in her place.
It sounds like you and your wife have a good plan on the floors. Replacing things as needed and choosing what you like with MILs input. You sound like a wonderful Soninlaw. If she's like my elders she will probably enjoy the changes you make more than she thought she would at first. Who does she cook for? Whose child is it that she babysits? Just curious as to who gets the benefits of this. It sounds like it is still her kitchen. That would be fine with me. Lol
rainmom- I agree that the advise on this thread has made me realize that she in not purposely trying to make our lives difficult. We just needed to find a way to make her feel like she is part of the process, and so far is seems to be working. Now deciding which school the kids go to...... Lets just say I will speak my mind when it comes to that matter. lol