This is a sincere question and I hope someone can advise me. My MIL has Alzheimers and I know "it's the disease." BUT I can tell that she knows she is giving me the silent treatment and she smirks when I ask her what I've done to upset her. I know that she knows what she is doing because she will snap right out of it if a guest shows up. She also refuses to respond when I ask her why she is not speaking to me. I can write this off to moodiness but my MIL has a long history of giving people the silent treatment and she is still quite the expert. Yes, I take it personally. I've devoted my whole home and life to caring for her.
Sorry, just having a bad day..........at least the dog likes me.
I was also caregiver for my MIL. She was a quiet woman, but did not give me the "silent treatment" per se. I did sense resentment because she perceived me as a threat to her independence. My husband would tell her that she should thank me for all that I did for her. However, I didn't feel a need to be "thanked;" it just would have felt good to feel appreciated rather than resented (especially since I really worked hard at respecting her autonomy).
As far as advise, remember this is MIL's problem--don't allow it to be yours. You might try calmly saying something like, "I'm sorry you are feeling so ______ today." That way you are acknowledging her feelings without taking the least bit of responsibility for them. Then go on your merry way and don't allow her to manipulate you further. Like some of the others said--enjoy the peace.
I just love when she is sweet and senile. I enjoy those short moments.
I thought I had lost my love for her. I wrote to my siblings exactly that. Then I just could not get her off my mind. I prayed and then went in to her and held her and kissed her. I kissed her again good night before going to bed, and this morning again. She is so sweet again. I know hugging and kissing her makes her mellow. Yet when she gets into the very unpleasant mood, it hurts, and I turn off my feelings and keep myself busy. This happens for days to weeks why I believe I am totally depleted of love for Mom. And I really do not wish to reach that stage. It will be too painful when the cared-for person is no more and we might be plagued with guilt. I hope the unpleasant mood will not be the last any of us had to deal with before the last conscious moments of the cared-for person. God give us strength and love to cope.Do not give up or give in. We know what is best, and it just has to be done: care taking.
I know that my husband has not a clue. I speak as a care giver as well as a health care provider being an R.N., in home health with several degrees as well as over 40 years of experience in the field. Not tooting my horn-just have a few tricks up my sleeve.
Please keep talking on this site & please realize that you must be the bigger one here & know that it is not you or your stuff- It is a devastating disease. It steals one's mine, thought process. Look for the LIGHT with in her. Say, you can't B.S. animals or children so surround your self with them as you can.
I wear a bracelet I made out of turquoise & amethyst, on my wrist that I pray on when my husband who has had Solvent Dementia for 15 years now, at least, is going off on m e. I smile & go to my bracelet & fill my head & heart with what I say on the bracelet. Why not fill your thoughts with GOD? Seems to work for me.
I have berried my 2 daughters in the past 5 years with the Grace of God. I walk what I talk. I am here for a greater purpose, as are you....We have been given such gifts, we just forget but that is fine, for we always remember....Your not alone. Blessings ARE....
Blessings
He was a wonderful man but, much as he jumped through hoops to make her happy, if she didn't get her own way she'd pout, slap his meals on the table and storm away, generally hateful and pissy until he gave in. That could go on for days or weeks. She was mean and nasty life long and I could write a book. Many years ago she got a puppy weiner dog and insisted it sleep in their bed. My father said no dogs in the bed so she moved herself and the pup into the spare room. For the last 12 years of my father's life he slept alone and went everywhere by himself.
He died of heart failure, a lonely and broken man, and, although there was a history in his family, I feel that after dealing with the witch for over 50 years his poor heart just gave up. She's in a NH now, unable to do anything for herself, but still trying to create havoc. I visit every so often and ensure her bills are paid and she has all she needs but as the stress of the years was making me ill I changed my phone number. I will continue to do my duty under POA but she's dead to me.
She's almost 88 and will likely go on for years yet - the evil ones always seem to - but apart from doing my duty as POA, after a lifetime of manipulation, verbal and emotional abuse, she's dead to me.