My 82 year old mother was recently diagnosed with Lewy Body dementia. She's been on the decline for the last few years and exhibits all of the classic symptoms, extreme mood swings, hallucinations, confusion, balance issues, and delusions. She also had a series of mini strokes about 10 years ago that effected her as well. I have two siblings that live near her and I live about an hour away. One of my siblings has been diagnosed as being bi-polar, can't work, and is on government assistance. That said, my other sibling and I have major concerns that my mentally ill sibling is taking money out of my mother's bank account. We fear that there won't be enough left for my mom when we have to put her into a nursing home or assisted living facility, a move that will have to be made soon. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Does that sibling live with mom? Does anyone have POA?
You mention that mom has delusions. Is she telling you that sibling is taking her money?
If Mom needs Medicaid in the next 5 years, any large amounts of money withdrawn will be questioned.
I recently filed a petition for judicial relief on behalf of my Mother against my ex-siblings.
Don't give up on your Mother!
moms LBD is only going to result in more challenges in the future, and having an outside person calling the shots might prove to be worthwhile.
One thing you could do is file for Guardianship. That way you can file the complaint, you can contact police about theft.
This may come back to bite if at some point you have to file for Medicaid on her behalf. Any money "missing" that can not be accounted for would be considered a "gift" or it has been "hidden".
I do hope you are planning a move soon for Mom. Many places have waiting lists so get her name on a few of them. If they call and you are not ready (or she is not ready) they can put her back on the list and will call you again. Also ask if they take Medicaid. Many places will but it is best if you are there for a year or more before Medicaid has to be implemented.
I have done such a thing to care for my mother in-law 81 years old and works well. Need to be honest and transparent. Managing finance and health care POA needs to be separate if need be. Make sure get durable POA and advance health directives done and are in place
I would also put a freeze on my mother's credit. It's easy to do and now it's free, too.
Best of luck.
Mental illness can be successfully treated, so it isn't really an excuse to give him a pass for theft.
Each day he is making choices to comply with doctors orders or not, bi-polar is difficult because they long for the highs and they don't get them on meds, they don't want to live a flatline existence, it's not nearly as exciting. Also, alcohol and bi-polar meds are a really bad combination.
POA does not give free access to the persons money. Please protect your mom and file a police report, you have the proof and maybe that jail time is what is needed to get your brothers attention and get him off the alcohol so his meds will work.
I don't mean to sound harsh but when we know something is happening and we do nothing, we are complicit and just as guilty as the person doing the act. You have said your mom cannot protect her self, she trusted her brother and you 1st to take care of her, third person is usually a peace keeping move. She was believing that she had 2 layers between her and your brother. Honor her in this awful situation.
Check what you need for mother. Try not to accuse sis who also needs help!
Hugs 🤗
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