So here’s a good one for you. Mother’s thoracic spine was hurting right before the neck surgery. The Drs said the neck was so urgent, deal with it and then address the spine. An MRI in April only seemed to show T8 may be pushed forward a bit, according to the osteoporosis Dr. Maybe get epidural steroid inj. Now more pain in spine. We see Neurosurgeon next week for neck. He ordered neck X-rays and thoracic spine CT. Neck looks fine says report. Thoracic spine has a lot of issues. Kyphosis. Chronic mild T6-8 and T10-11 anterior wedge deformity. No bony retropulsion into spinal canal at least. Endplate degeneration changes, facet joint arthroplasty, vacuum disc phenomena, marginal osteophytotic. And then the comments on what they see of her smoker lungs. Centrilobular and para septal emphysematous changes, peribronchial wall thickening, parenchymal scarring. “Patchy ground glass and alveolar opacities seen in the right lower lobe, which may be infectious or inflammatory/fibrotic in nature.” I told her we need to share report with her PCP, to figure out the lung stuff. She said no, because he might cut off her pain med. (I assume she’s following the reasoning that opioids reduce respiratory effort). She says her body is “out of warranty,” so she does not care what her lungs are doing. She then says she’s noticed more chest congestion since her surgery in May, cough now productive with mostly clear mucus. Otherwise she feels fine and 02 sats in mid 90s every time we’ve been at the doctors. I normally would not fret, be ok with seeing how her bad choices play out. However, I’m going on a cruise in a month. My in-laws, who are getting sick and elderly themselves, have been begging us to go and we finally said yes to go while they still can. FIL has cancer and heart issues. The time to go is now. What to do with mother while I’m gone? Respite care is $2100, I checked. They insist on 2 week minimum. Her psych issues will make this hard I guarantee. So far, I’ve asked my friend, who has some elder experience, to stay local and be whatever mother needs, but only simple things. (A ride, clean house, shop, etc.). I won’t ask friend to be mothers 24 hour help at her nasty house. Friend also has never dealt with psych issues. Her clients have been more bedridden and compliant. DH and I are POA and alternate. I’ve arranged for Internet on the ship, and friend and I can message or even speak on Facebook messenger. I told mother if she gets put in the hospital while I’m gone I guess they’ll just have to keep her.
All the minutae detail you provided above... why? Respectfully, I think one of your challenges is that you tend to drill down into the weeds on everything -- and it is exhausting and prevents you from stepping back to get a more objective perspective on things.
Pay your friend to manage your Mom while you're gone and tell friend to not contact you unless it is a bona fide emergency. Enjoy your vacation!!