My mom has lost the ability to independently complete simple tasks and most activities of daily living but she has no awareness of it. She will say sometimes that she has forgotten some information, such as her birthday, but she seems to have no sense of this being unusual or startling. I'm wondering how many people with dementia actually know that they have dementia or, at least, a problem? Or is it the norm for the person to not know or recognize their problem?
With my mother, she had dementia, but remembered people and places. Not always, but most of the time. She never forgot her kids, but did forget her grandkids. Couldn't remember what she had for breakfast, but could tell me what she had at a special dinner 40 years ago.
My near 94 year old mom has been in memory care for about 15 months - we run out of money in 24 months
Last year was awful, she escaped and they threatened to take her out on psych hold - she was intent on walking home - drew a map of how to get there even and yes she she knew the way
There are no magic words to make them stop asking to go home -she still references rooms in the house and knows the address
If you can't fib and say she's there for rehab or while the house is having repairs or let's wait and see what the doctor says then you have to just change the subject - I always bring treats and you may find they dole out cookies and ice cream a lot for a distraction
Dementia is a long tiring journey for everyone
All that to say, I don't always answer his questions truthfully and I will change the subject when it's something I just don't want to talk about again and again. When changing the subject doesn't work, I make up an excuse as to why I have get going and I leave. I limit the amount of time I spend if I see he's particularly tired, anxious, or "off".
Change the subject. Leave. Fib about the house. Answering the same question over and over again is doing neither of you any good.
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