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My dad was fine up to a point but then it progressed to the point where my sister and I could no longer cope. He needed constant care. It is hard moving them to facility, but we did. The meds he was asked to take at the facility, made things worse for him, He deteriorated very fast there, much to our ignorance. He passed in August of last year, and I wish I could have done it differently, but it was very difficult both ways. Good luck with your decision. It is never easy.
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NYDaughterInLaw: You are spot on about elders not being able to handle the truth! About 7 years ago I was having ear surgery. My mother actually had to call my daughter on the phone, saying to her "I can't handle it (my surgery)." My daughter had to calm her down by saying "my mother (me) is a strong woman; please do not worry Grammy."
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My grandmother is 92 and says that she remembers everything but when asked a simple question she can't remember. I feel for you. I often sit and wonder what I can do to help her simply understand that I am there to help her and not hurt her. She gets so angry with me as if I am saying and doing things on purpose to make her feel bad. I leave feeling so frustrated (most of the time crying all the way home) She won't leave her home. All I ever hear is she wants to die there. She has no way of getting extra help in the home so all the pressure is on me to help her. My father has suggested me and my daughter move in with her but I don't know if that is the best solution to this long term problem. She isn't eating correctly and has stopped cleaning her house. All the people who have responded to your post completely understand that this is a heartbreaking, painstaking, costly, stressful situation. Stay on board with this site - it is a blessing!
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dsl7334: "She gets angry with me" can be rephrased to "she gets angry with herself" because that is what is happening.
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