Day after day my mother does the same thing, watches tv all day. She can still bath herself and make simple foods. She’s 81 and never had outside activities so her only entertainment is TV and talking about my granddaughter. I’m always on high anxiety just the TV constantly on drives me crazy. Recently my job closed and I had to quickly find another job to afford our rent, I moved into a nice house with her to let her live out her life in a nice place. My anxiety was through the roof looking for work and being around her so much, all she wants is something to eat and she never knows what she wants. Life is dull and depressing just looking at her sitting there, she looks so old and decrepit anymore and then I realize she is dying slowly so then I feel sadness. I was curious if others feel this way and what to do about it.
My mother is overweight,has been for years and I find this hard to view and absorb. She looks pretty awful. I hate to say this but I have been embarrassed to be her daughter for decades.
Since you work you are able to escape being around her alot. I understand the problems but I think you should be grateful it is not worse. Hope this helps you some. I think the TV watching is common with the elderly.
Good luck!
On a Sunday afternoon, tell Mom you're going to run errands, and while you're at it, stop at Starbucks for a cup of coffee. If you have no errands just go for the coffee.
Do as many things for "just you" as you can. Mom seems content to sit in front of the TV all day so let her. As long as Mom is safe, you go do your own thing.
I am so so grateful that I have a job I love. I am anxious to get to it each day. I’m tired and sore when I get home, but it’s worth it. I truly did,Ike having to come home and tend to him, But I’ve chosen this path. I can disappear down the rabbit hole or I can keep plugging away. When I can get out of my own head and move on, things get better.
When did this take place? How long have you been living together?
Then you lost your job, which must have been a blow; and you had to find another job pronto at the same time as managing your home commitments, which must have been both stressful and difficult. When did this happen? - and/but you have since found another job, have you? Do you now feel more secure about employment/finances?
Then there's your mother's wellbeing, and her very limited horizons which you share for a good part of each day. The TV blares out - is your mother hard of hearing? - whether anyone is paying attention to it or not. Conversation is extremely limited, and perhaps repetitive. This situation can really get a girl down and again I sympathise.
Reasons to be cheerful... (or at least find consolation).
How is your mother? Any complaints? Does she seem content and comfortable?
Bear in mind that you set out to give your mother what I think of as a "soft landing." If from day to day she is not in pain, not afraid, not lonely, not unhappy: do you realise what a magnificent thing you are doing for her?
Then, move on to the question of what respite you get from this routine. The routine may (I hope it does) suit your mother, but for a fully-functioning adult it is suffocating, and of course you need time away from it. Do you get any?