For those who don't know me, my husband and I live with my mom who is 91 and has Alzheimer's and a weak heart. I take medication for depression but it still gets a hold of me. We rarely get out together as my mom can't be alone. My brother and sister live far away...brother gives us breaks maybe once or twice a year. Sister doesn't lift a finger. I've been doing this for almost 5 years and making other arrangements is not an option for me. My husband says I'll feel better in the spring. I don't know... Guilt goes along with the depression. If I don't do anything I feel guilty, but I some days don't feel up to doing a thing.
She apologizes for asking for a drink of water but that is the least of my problems!
I want her to move around. I want her to get up and go to the bathroom before she’s busting at the seams! I want her to stand up and sit down often enuf that her legs will support her.
She has her mental faculties and no life threatening ailments, but she sits so long she can’t walk to bed.
It’s bad enough that I’m in charge of all repairs with no experience and little money but now I’m wondering why bother? Why worry about the yard? Why should I fix the sprinklers if she doesn’t care enough to take care of herself?
I find myself berating her for killing herself when I want her to be comfortable. Now it seems I’m up all night every night dwelling on her deterioration and staying in my room all day so as not to yell at her.
It’s not helpful to bite my tongue because I’m still angry inside.
She’s had pt often enough she knows she has to use it or lose it but she refuses to do it!
Yes I’m depressed. I hate watching her becoming infirm and feeble just because she’s lazy!
Charlotte
As well as several ailments, both of them have dementia and both of them have decided they cannot move around at all.
However I know my husband has depression which he says makes him feel as though he is trying to move through 'silly putty'.
The not moving to help themselves may also be the frustrating part of mental issues.
I get angry because my husband says 'he can't' take a shower. But he can get up and ask me what I am cooking for supper or watch Netflix.
I don't think we can make sense of these things.
Very frustrating.
stress related illnesses now. And he's always behaving passive aggressively
to force me to do more. He's angry I don't spend more on him (he has plenty of funds for his own care, but wants mine too) . And he's enabled by a small army of hangers on that hope to avail themselves of his money, which he has apparently misrepresented to be in the millions. *Sigh* . Trying very hard
to gain a sense of humor about it. As we all know talking about anything other
than weather with narcissists just adds fuel to the fire. Caregiving can be depressing enough as it is.
Sometimes I just want to screen! To make matters worse my L/O resents my so called taking over her life, and feels she can handle herself. Unfortunately 2 doctors, 2 social workers, 1 elder care counselor and family members say otherwise.
So yes, I’m fighting hard to keep me balanced.