Yesterday he had balance issues and looked so sleepy. He sat in front of the tv with is eyes half closed and it took him forever to raise his hand to scratch his head and he left it up there for a minute without scratching. I am scared. New to this. He is only 67. He wanted to argue about driving but lasted only a minute. Thank you.
I hate seeing this with the person now in my care, as well. Anxiety is so debilitating and the onlooker can feel completely at a loss about what to do to ease this person's internal. hell. Of course, staying with a schedule, limiting outside stimulation and those things can help but sometimes the anxiety is simply coming from the person's chemistry and it's hard to help. Just comforting and waiting it out is sometimes all we can do.
All of the things described in this thread are so helpful. Keep contributing your definition of good days, vs. bad days. It's different for everyone and different in every stage.
Carol
Mom doesn't really have many "good" days. Until a few months ago she would not balk at going out. She kept her apartment cleaner than now. Lately her hygiene is suffering a bit, she will not eat or drink unless "forced" to. She does not want to leave the house for any reason. She never moves - she lays on her bed in the same position for 23 hours a day. She has done this for years, tho. She moves like she is underwater, she is very weak and unsteady. She truly doesn't think there is anything wrong with her except that she is an old, old lady - she just turned 79. She falls and has no idea how to get up. She needs lots of cues to get up from a fall, or sitting down in a chair or getting up from a chair. She has developed an aversion to water - she will not wash her hands unless I make her do it. She has developed a bit of bowel incontinence and does not wipe well.
Until a just a month or so ago, Mom could hand up her tops with not muc\h trouble - now, she has a difficult time. I have to prompt her to do most anything physical. She used to be an obcessive reader - now it takes her a week to one book. I am not sure that she retains what she reads, I think she is just reading the words. She does almost everything from memory. I have found lately, that she leaves something she heated up in the microwave - she never ate it. She only wants soup, candy and chips. Nothing good and healthy. Those things are the everyday reality with Mom now.
My cousin is in Memory Care, but I cared for her before she went in for a short while. I would say a good day is a day that she did not fall down. Balance is a huge issue and I have seen her walk around her walker for no apparent reason and then let go and go backwards. If I was not standing there, she would have fallen backwards. They forget they have balance issues, forget they need a walker, and forget to hold on and not fall. They don't know what happened when the hit the floor. This can result in many ER visits and multiple fractures. I don't know any remedy for this, unless you constantly monitor them. The only reason she doesn't fall now is that she is in a wheelchair. A good day is no falls.
I would say a good day is if she is not repeating everything constantly. That phase was rough, but has gone away. She doesn't have much to say anymore and usually answers with a yes or no response or I' don't know or I don't remember.
We had some bad days when she was very anxious and crying. She didn't know why she was upset. After she was placed on Cymbalta, that went away. She is normally content and happy and so that's always a good day.
As she has progressed with this illness, her doctor has commented on the progression. It's sad to see that, but I expect it. I think the good days are knowing that she is not in pain and is getting her needs met.
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