My Momma prefers me to be in the same room with her always now regardless of what I need to do. Since last Sunday when she had a problem breathing, she is now wanting me to be in the same room with her. Her best friend comes sometimes and once she sees her I can then do up the dishes or laundry or make meals etc. But when her best friend doesn't come, then Momma insists I stay with her.
Other than going to the bathroom or going to lay down in her bed, she is mostly in the family room watching t.v. all day. She refuses to sit in the kitchen when I go wash dishes or make meals. She refuses to lay or sit in her bedroom while I do laundry.
Has anyone ever encountered this behavior before or heard of this behavior before? Is being clingy only found in the early stages of Dementia or is this behavior found in all stages of Dementia?
Sounds endearing (and tiring) for daughter to have mom follow her, after she was frightened by a breathing episode. Maybe work up to a signal/depart method, so she learns you'll be back when you say you will - or maybe also get a baby monitor, and after a bit she can learn that you do hear and respond. Done with consistency, reassurance and good cheer, you can hopefully assert some need to be separate sometimes!
Oh - I just remembered one elder woman who was not clingy, but so demanding, that she would ask for one chore to be done before then last chore was finished, and ask for a sandwich again and again. I took that as a mistaken medication and behavior issue, and worked with her only rarely, it was so hard to keep up. One had to have energy!
But the clingy part reminds me of each dog I've had, when they get old and frail, I remember finding it frustrating and also endearing, that I could not go to any room without them following and sitting outside it, including the bathroom.
These are tools that I had NOT learned sufficiently in my 60+ years on this earth. And being a "Primary Caregiver's" Primary Caregiver myself........was an opportunity for me to finally LEARN, the hard way, that I DO have these rights!!! I can share this stuff now because both my sig-others parents are now in a NH and doing well. I am still "debriefing" this 7+ year process, however......and so is my sig-other. I'm feeling grateful that I survived this most difficult life-transition.....and relief and joy even.....that I learned so much about myself.....in the process. Hoping this helps even one of you on your journey......
God's speed....
But she has always wanted to be 'close' to people - it's almost like aspergers in a way because she would mimic eating habits and eat what the person she was sat next to ordered if we were out at a restaurant. Now that she doesn't have that she doesn't want to eat at all. She wants to eat what I eat but doesn't like what I eat so it is a constant battle. Given free choice it would be nothing or sweets cakes biscuits and desserts!
Good answers on this thread! Keep reading comments from people who know and update us when you can about how you are doing.
Carol
Mum has a personality disorder as well which just gets magnified and swings between clinginess and vitriol. It's like she is vile until I walk away then clingy in case I actually do. It is very much like having a child trying to get your constant attention and then when they don't they cling to your leg. The difference being of course that children learn, people with dementia don't.
If your Mum wants to be with you and she can walk then go about your chores and don't give in to the pressure....you will end up frazzled - and trust me on this one I really do know!
Reassuring your loved one that you'll be right back doesn't always help because they forget it as soon as you're out of the room and then they begin to panic. Like most dementia behaviors clinginess can get worse as the dementia progresses.