I am the caregiver for both my parents. My Dad is 94. Barely able to walk, incontinent, unable to cook for himself or care for himself. Mom was his caregiver for years, but she has had a stroke. I left my job/apartment in N. Carolina to come to Colorado to be the caregiver for Mom. I only learned just how bad it is with Dad after getting here. So..my problems now is that the doctors have such a "don't care, they are too old to bother with any way" attitude. I looked at trying to get new primary care for them..but..no one is accepting new Medicare patients. For example, Mom has new heart condition, and it seems like she is exhibiting new serious problems almost weekly. Now she isn't sleeping through the night besides. She is up 6 to 8 times a night. No one is sleeping because of this. She is a fall risk, so I have to get up with her. The noise she makes wakes everyone. The doctors just "poo poo" this off. She cannot stay awake during the day. She falls asleep during meals, during therapy sessions, etc. I am walking around half dead most days now too. dad is cranky by nature anyway...now he is impossible to be around. What do I do? How do I get a doctor to deal with this..now. Not next month, not in a few weeks if she doesn't improve. This is critical now. I need sleep badly!
I have talked with the dept of public health which is the "senior support" here. Because of my parents financial resources..they are not eligible for any services.
My Dad has a visiting nurse from the VA, but that isn't any help for Mom.
I have asked at the two local hospitals for a referral to another physician for Mom...all the clinics and Docs I have called have all said the same...not accepting new Medicare patients.
Since she is a stroke victim, and has COPD, plus AFib, and a small hole in her heart...I am scared to try to give her anything at all. Even a herb tea could have consequences. I cannot let her try to move around by herself...she is a high risk for falls...and the blood thinners make a fall a potential life threatening event besides.
This is Not Your Fault. It is not a deficiency in you. It is about the nature of their impairments. The broken sleep/wake cycle is particularly difficult for one person to deal with.
Finding new doctors may be a great improvement. But no matter how wonderful the doctors are, one person can still not provide around-the-clock care in a private home for two people on different schedules.
Finances may strongly influence whether to try to bring in enough help into the home or to find suitable care in a facility. But you really can't do this alone.
Your parents are so lucky you have come to them and can help them get the care they need.
I'm sorry you're going through this - one elderly parent is too much to handle alone and you have two at a time
Not knowing what your parents' financial situation is try contacting your local area on aging to do a needs assessment for care - you need help - both custodial care and perhaps home health care - a visiting nurse or nurse practitioner and there are doctors who will take on new Medicare patients
Do you have a senior center in your city for referrals or a hospital with a senior care network ?